Freiburg Redux

It's 2012 and I'm still sometimes surprised by nudity on TV

2012-01-25T12:12:00.005+01:00

I mostly say I'm still surprised about nudity on TV because it's 11:30 in the morning and there was just some commercial on television for a women's website that can tell you whether or not you are having the right amount of sex for you...while showing a picture of a naked, gyrating woman. What? Why? I guess it's mostly a ploy to get people to go to their website but if it's about sex, shouldn't they at least have shown two naked people? I'm just thinking logically here. There's also breastfeeding in commercials too, which I don't find offensive at all except that they are clearly not real breastfeeding lady breasts. They are way too small and cute looking. I thought breastfeeding breasts were supposed to be giant and intimidating and functional. Okay. Enough breast talk. Sorry, Grandpa.

We're moving into a new apartment. It will be a real space upgrade. This is of course always good. The current apartment is 35sq m (376 sq ft according to google). The new apartment is about 60 sq m (645 sq ft). Space to breathe and fill with things. Oh the things...can you buy stock in Ikea? I suggest that you do. I've certainly spent a good chunk of money there in the past few weeks. I am proud to say though that the day before yesterday we saw a trash pile on the street and I convinced Phil to take a side table out it. He seemed pretty skeptical but obliged and I've now painted it blue with a white pattern design. It looks better than it did before and has the super low price of free. I think we can both be happy with that. It did make me feel like my mother. She is the queen of refinishing trash pile treasures. What is nice is that our new landlords gave us a key at the beginning of the month, even though we don't officially move until February 1, to start painting and moving small stuff.

In other news I'm watching one of my preferred German TV shows called "Mieten, Kaufen, Wohnen" (Rent, Buy, Live) and it follows around real estate agents who are showing people apartments. I know, it sounds really riveting, try not to get too excited. It's interesting to see what's valued and what's not. It gave me a good idea of what I should complain about when we were looking at new apartments. Never in my life had I really considered the benefits of a window in the kitchen or built in kitchen until that became something that wasn't always standard. In conclusion, German television is generally crappy but I really enjoy it. It's so much more fun to feel embarrassed for a foreign population than for other Americans. Plus, the German version of American Idol "Deutschland Sucht den Superstar" (Germany Seeks the Superstar) has the added fun of people singing songs in English with funny accents. Imagine the worst American Idol auditions and add people who don't even understand the words that they are singing. The people who are the most successful are usually actually pretty good with the notable exception of the guy who won last year. He was (still is?) so dumb but it made him somehow more endearing. The real star of the show is Dieter Bohlen, Germany's "Pop Titan"(the blond one). This country is full of wonders.

When we finally get a memory card for the camera that isn't busted up we'll take some pictures of the apartment to share.

I'll just leave this here...the winner of last year's Deutschland Sucht den Superstar. Look at his lil suit!

Leroy, the Balding Christmas Tree

2011-12-06T22:46:00.001+01:00

This is Leroy. He is from Alsace.

This year I decided I would make the ornaments for our Christmas tree using a salt dough recipe. I baked them, let them cool and then painted them to look pretty. The German flag, American flag and cat we obviously bought.

America

Germany

A pretzel inspired by an old picture I saw of Phil's parents' tree.

A heart and a Christmas tree ON a Christmas tree. Meta, I think so.

Lil' Phil sniffing a poisonous poinsettia. Cute!

Christmas Baking

2011-12-03T17:52:00.001+01:00

Here's a little Christmas recipe for you. My life right now has pretty much been either baking or making lesson plans. I think that you would rather read about baking. This recipe is for something called a Christstollen. Normally, it has candied orange and lemon in it, but per request, I've left those out of the recipe. I think if people are making this at home, they traditionally bake it at the beginning of the Advent season because you are supposed to wait a few weeks after baking it to eat it. For most German Christmas goodies, there is a town that is known for making the best. If you buy a Christstollen, for example, the best ones are supposed to come from Dresden. The best Lebkuchen comes from Nürnberg, a city that is also famous, sort of awkwardly, for the Nuremberg Trials. I wonder why that is spelled differently in English. Well, actually, probably it's because Nürnberg is sort of difficult for English speakers to say. Anyway, let's think of Lebkuchen instead of war criminals, shall we?

Here is the recipe I used for the Christstollen. Hopefully it tastes good.

P.S. I found out what happens on Christmas day. You sit around and relax with your family. That sounds alright to me.

Christstollen

500 g Flour
1 pkg. dry yeast
120 g Sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
A pinch of salt
Zest of 1 lemon
200 ml Soy milk (about 4/5 of a cup)
150 g vegan butter
2 tsp. rum
100 g almonds (I used blanched but the recipe I looked at called for slivered.)
200 g raisins
200 g marzipan
+ more butter & powdered sugar

1) Mix the flour and yeast. Add sugar, salt, and lemon zest.
2) Combine the vegan butter and soy milk in a sauce pan. Heat until the butter is melted. Add to the flour mixture. Add vanilla and rum.
3) Knead the mixture for about 5 minutes and then add the almonds. Form into a ball and put it back into the mixing bowl. Let sit, covered, in a warm place for 45 minutes.
4) Take dough out of the bowl and kneed for 5-10 minutes. Add raisins. Let sit, covered, for another 30 minutes.
5) Press the dough out on a clean surface into a rectangle about an inch thick. Coat the marzipan in powdered sugar and press out into a flat rectangle. Lay the circle of marzipan on top of your flatted dough.

It's much harder to get those nuts and raisins to stay in there than you would think. Nuts and raisins everywhere.

Press the marzipan gently into the dough. In three sections, fold the dough/marzipan onto itself, like when you fold a letter. Place the folded dough form on a greased baking sheet. Additionally, spread some butter over the top of the dough form. Allow the dough to sit in a warm place, covered, for another 45 minutes.

Folding the dough over itself to form a loaf.

6) Bake the stollen for 30-35 minutes, uncovered, until it is golden brown. Bake for an additional 10 minutes, covered with aluminum foil.

It actually didn't bake this flat. I smashed it down a bit once I took it out of the oven because Phil said Dresdner Stollen is flatter.

Allow the stollen to cool slightly, then spread butter over the top of the dough and coat generously with powdered sugar.

Now that's what I call powdered sugar generosity.

Wrap it in aluminum foil and allow the stollen to sit for 3 weeks in a cool places before consuming.

Christkind

2011-12-02T23:24:00.001+01:00

When people tell me that Baby Jesus is flying around on Christmas Eve delivering presents to the Lutherans, this is what I imagine:

Yup, he's got lightning and short little spaghetti hairs. That's all I have to say about that.

Halloween

2011-11-03T16:24:00.005+01:00

Halloween has come and gone and we continue to eat more pumpkin that the average human being. I had some frozen leftover pumpkin pie filling that I decided to used to make some pumpkin muffins. They were quite delicious and so I tried to recreate them this week again. I'm not so great about writing down recipes because I generally tend to look at a non-vegan recipe online and then "veganize it" off the cuff. With the newer muffins, I did make an effort to be slightly "healthier" and used less oil and sugar but more pumpkin and maple syrup. They turned out a bit denser and more moist, and I think they taste pretty good and make a nice breakfast with a cup of coffee.

The Saturday before Halloween, we went to a party at a friend's hause. (Typo and it stays) I'm not going to write her name because I don't even know if she reads this or if she would feel weird about it. I'll have to ask her. Anyway. You know it was a good party because there were three different cookies shaped like witch's fingers. I saw some on Chef Chloe's website and felt inspired to use some leftover vegan shortbread I had. Basically, you form a finger, then spread a little bit of cherry or strawberry jam on the "finger tip". Then press a blanched almond on top of the jam to make it look like a finger nail. I forgot to chill the dough fingers after I formed them, so they flattened out quite a bit in the oven. I think they still looked pretty disgusting regardless (I always hear Rachel Dratch saying "irregardless" in my head when I use the word 'regardless') of their flatness and I hear that they tasted good too. I didn't feel like eating one myself, I'm much more of a dead man's toe person, but I'm glad that people enjoyed them. I was originally going to dress as a Nihilist because I just don't care, you know? What am I saying? Everyone knows that is actually a lie and I really care about my Halloween costume, I just didn't have any better ideas. We picked up some face paint while we were last minute shopping, though, and so I decided to paint my face to look like a creepy doll. It was kind of full circle if you consider how much Chucky scared me as a child. Actually, I can't decide if this should be spelled with a 'y' or an 'ie' but I don't want to google it because then I'll have to actually look at pictures of Chucky(ie). He still scares me. Who am I fooling?


Phil's first pumpkin carving experience ever.

Phil needs more GRAAAAAAAINS! Vegan zombie? Get it. Har. Har. (Thanks for the picture, Chels!)

In other news, someone who plays the french horn has definitely moved into our building. Luckily they are enough floors up that you only catch every other scale. I can't remember if I've written about this or not but we have this neighbor who really enjoys playing the guitar. Worst singer I've ever heard. I mean, bad like the kind of bad that American Idol shows you in the auditions preview reel so that you want to watch the show. God bless that little guy, he is annoying, but kind of endearing. He's not ever really distracting just very consistent in practicing. If I had had his persistence as a child in my piano lessons, I'd be the Yo-Yo Ma of pianos. Not that there aren't any really famous, amazing piano players, I'm just partial to the name Yo-Yo Ma and try to bring it up as often as possible. Anyway, I'd be sad if our neighbor, Yo-Yo Ma American Idol Guitar Player, ever stopped because he helps me remember that I'm not alone in this apartment building. Maybe I should figure out exactly what apartment he lives in and the apartment that French Horn lives in, bring them together over some Witch Fingers, and they could start a band. You know that would sell a lot of albums.

So now it's time to start thinking about Thanksgiving. Everything is starting to get quite Christmas-y though. They don't have the speed-bump of Thanksgiving to slow down the race towards Santa Day. I felt like a dummy today when I had to google whether or not the Advent calendar has 24 or 25 days. I mean, I was pretty sure it was 24 but you know know, it could also very well be "Bonus Baby Jesus 25th Piece of Chocolate". I need to figure out what most German people do on Christmas day. I know they open their presents on Christmas eve, but if you open them on Christmas eve, then what is the point of even waking up on Christmas Day???? To drink mimosas? I don't even know. I'll report back.

Pumpkins, not just for carving

2011-10-23T16:01:00.007+02:00

We've been a bit pumpkin-crazed lately. Pretty much every time I see a pumpkin, I feel compelled to buy it. I am always certain that there will be something to do with it. The standard go-to has been soup or curry, however, in the past few weeks, I've also made some pumpkin pie and pumpkin gnocchi. I think I'll actually go ahead and post the recipes I used, so maybe you can make something too. I highly, highly recommend the gnocchi. When you see how many we ate...well, I'm not even ashamed.

In addition to that, I've got some pictures of a Loaded Baked Potato soup, the Dirty Coast shirt that inspired the red beans, the ever discussed Chana Masala, and my pint glass from Molly's in New Orleans. Yes, I brought it all the way to Germany.

"Believe in the Trinity"

Chana Masala from the PPK Recipe

My hands look like gigantic baby hands.

Loaded Baked Potato soup was perfect for when you really like potatoes, like I do. On top we used the Monterrey Jack style Daiya cheese, Frontier Brand vegan Bacon bits, and chives.

I didn't want to commit to a full pumpkin pie, so I made these little "Pilots".

Brussel sprouts, pan fried potatoes, and homemade veggie sausage from a recipe in the book "Vegan Brunch".

Young spinach from the Farmer's Market. It still gets its ID checked at bars.

Pumpkin and potatoes for the gnocchi. These are of the "mealy" variety of potatoes. In Germany, it's normal to buy your potatoes based on their texture after they're cooked: "Predominantly firm cooking", "Firm cooking", and "Mealy". I love one-to-one translations. I don't know if people buy their potatoes like that in the US, but personally, I always just kind of stood before the potatoes and thought, "Ohh those are pretty" and made my choice mostly on color.

I steamed the potatoes and removed their skins while I roasted the halved pumpkin in the oven. I then cut them both up into chunks and used Luke (the immersion blender) to make a smooth paste. This was actually really hard and my hand was shaking afterward from holding up the weight of the hand blended for so long. I went ahead and drank a beer for my troubles.

Cookin' tools for the gnocchi: measuring cup, spatula, digital scale, pumpkin seed oil, and olive oil. The little tupperware container has about half of the pumpkin/potato mix because it was simply too much puree to use at one time.

Pumpkin-potato puree after being mixed with flour, oil and spices.

After letting the dough rest for 30 minutes, I split it into four pieces, and then split each piece into two "ropes".

I then cut the ropes with a regular old knife into the gnocchi and kept them on a lined baking sheet. I've already made the mistake once before when making pasta of letting the pasta pieces touch before cooking them. They will stick together if they're not properly floured and it is terribly annoying.

Ze tray of gnocchi.


After I boiled the gnocchi (it took three batches of boiling), I pan fried them with some garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper and sage. When they were all cooked, I covered them with some vegan sage butter and served them on a bed of steamed teenage, er, I mean young spinach.

Looks good? Well, here is the recipe:

Pumpkin Gnocchi (makes 4 servings)

1. 5 cups (400g) pureed pumpkin and potato. (If you want to make your own use either small pumpkin and three medium potatoes and save half for later or use 1 medium potato and half of one small pumpkin.)
2.5 - 3 cups (350-400g) all-purpose flour
1 tsp. Sage
1/2 tsp. White pepper
1/2 tsp. Cayenne pepper
1 tsp. Nutmeg
1 tbsp. Olive oil
1 tbsp. Pumpkin oil (If you can't find these, use another teaspoon of olive oil)

1) Steam your potatoes until soft. When cooled, peel off the skin and place in a bowl. To roast the pumpkin, cut it in half and remove the seeds. Place face down in the oven on a greased baking dish and roast for 30-45 minutes or until a fork easily passes through the skin. Remove from oven and let it cool. When cooled, cut it into chunks and add it into the bowl with the potatoes. Using an immersion blender, blend until there are no visible chunks. If you don't have an immersion blender then I would use a food processor. The blender should be a last resort as this was pretty sticky and I can imagine would be incredibly frustrating to get out of a blender.

2) Add half of the flour to your pumpkin and potato puree. Stir in with a spoon. Add in the oil and spices. When it becomes less sticky, add the remaining flour slowly and mix with your hands. It may not take all three cups of flour, so add it until it can be easily formed into a ball without staying stuck to your hands. Let the ball of dough rest for about 30 minutes.

3) Split the dough into four pieces. Take one piece of dough and split into two parts. On a floured surface, work out the dough to for a 6-7 inch rope. Using a knife, cut the dough into the gnocchi, about 1/2 inch wide pieces. Move the cut pasta onto a baking sheet (or other big surface) that is covered with wax or parchment paper.

4) While you finish cutting all of your dough, boil a large pot of water. Don't forget to salt it.

5) Boil the gnocchi in small batches. They're ready to take out when they rise to the top of the water. Remove with a slatted spoon or strainer, getting rid of as much excess water as possible. Place on a plate (or back on to the baking sheet) to dry.

6) When you've boiled all of your pasta, chop 1-2 large cloves of garlic and saute in a pan with some olive oil. Add your gnocchi to pan and heat them until they are slightly crisp on the outside. Feel free to add any additional spices here. I added some fresh ground black pepper and about a pinch of salt.

7) In a small sauce pan, melt about 3 tablespoons of vegan butter. Add either a few fresh sage leaves or one teaspoon of ground sage. Pour the melted butter over the gnocchi.

8) Serve immediately!

Fall! Fall! Fall!

2011-10-09T19:44:00.001+02:00

I decided to make Red Beans and Rice today. I know it's not Monday but we didn't have the ingredients we need to make Chana Masala, a dish that has been discussed and discussed for months now.

The makings for the Red Beans. I used the recipe from the Fat Free Vegan blog and halved it. The last time I made the whole amount we couldn't finish the beans and ended up wasting food. What you're looking at on the cutting board is celery, bell pepper, onion and garlic. The spices are thyme, oregano, paprika, Crystal's hotsauce, Liquid smoke, and bay leaves. Last but not least, I had to add beans... you know, because I made red beans.

This is everything in the pot. I let it cook for about three and a half hours. In the meantime....

....we went for a walk and saw the Sunday afternoon LARPers. We tried as discreetly as possible to take a picture.

Then we walked down by the lake. This guy was picking up leaves and throwing them around like a little drunk person.

This group of people stopped to look at a giant sundial when we stopped to look at a giant sundial. What followers. It was NOT that interesting.

Phil made me stop and pretend to look at the water. I was thinking that I really hope I don't roll down this hill because I bet that water is cold.

Some men were playing with their toy boats. No children were involved in their games.

I remember when these swans were just baby swans a few months ago.

It looks pretty fancy, eh?

Neuer Süße. This is wine before it becomes wine. I bought it at the Münstermarkt. The woman was all, "Do you want it with alcohol or without alcohol?" And I was all, "Uhh, with, duh." I was also warned to store it upright, otherwise it would spray out of the bottle. It tastes like frizzy, lightly alcoholic white grape juice.

Red beans and rice. Yum yum yum!

I'm baaaack!

2011-10-08T18:16:00.000+02:00

Halloween! Halloween! Not quite ready to carve our pumpkins yet so we painted them with scary faces. The skeleton one actually already did scare me. It was looking at me.

The building has been surrounded by nets and scaffolding for weeks now. Supposedly they're painting the building but I think they're actually painting 1 sq. in. at a time and spend the rest of the time using loud drilling tools.

Oh just some German people bread to eat with the pumpkin soup I made.

Some radishes to make a radish and cucumber salad. Very exciting, I know.

Some of the makings of my pumpkin soup: hokkaido pumpkin, carrot, and ginger. I also added some potatoes to help make it creamy, plus vegetable broth, onions, curry powder, nutmeg, salt, pepper and sweet paprika.

Cooking the onions with some vegan buh-tuuuuh.

Added in the carrots, potatoes and ginger while the water boils in the electric kettle.

Cutting the pumpkin in half can sometimes be tricky. The trick: don't cut your hand off. After I didn't cut off my hand, I scooped out the seeds and threw them away. Normally, I'm all for toasting and eating the seeds, but I think the Hokkaido seeds are a little bit too dense to be tasty snacks. The one time I tried to eat them I felt like a cow chewing on cud.

After I cut up the pumpkin into chunks, I added it to the pot with about a liter of hot water and some vegetable broth powder. I let the vegetables cook until they became soft, which was about 15 minutes. After that, I used Luke (you know, like Skywalker) our immersion hand blender to make the soup nice and smooth. After I did that, I added the spices I mentioned above. AFTER THAT, I inhaled the soup so fast I forgot to take a picture. Sorry about that.

Last and most importantly, I made some vegan shortbread cookies. I used a normal old shortbread recipe (butter, flour, sugar) and just used vegan butter instead of normal butter. Easy right? I thought so. For the glaze on top, I just mixed up some powder sugar with a little bit of soy milk, added the dye and then dripped it on top of the cookies. I liked it because they ended up looking almost glittery. Oh, and because they taste deliciously spooky.... but not spooky like razor blades in apples, spooky like a D-TV Halloween special.

Guess what?

2011-07-29T17:13:00.000+02:00

It's my last day of work.

364 days go awfully quickly.

I think I'll have to reflect for a bit to find some sort of big meaning in all of this, but in the mean time, here are some pictures from the past month or so.

Potato salad for the Fourth of July

Vanilla cupcakes for the Fourth (vegan)

Nightmare causing costumes from Fasching at the museum in Boxberg

The stuff of nightmares...

Maibaum (May Tree)

Not a beer but a White Wine Spritzer. I know, I'm cool.

mit Pommes

They were having a competition for a new trumpet. The competition you ask? Who can blow into their instrument the longest.

On the edge of their benches...

Street fair, German style...

is actually quite American. See that girl on the right giving me the stink eye??

Magenbrot (Stomach bread). Gross? No, not really. It's kind of like a really dense, glazed gingerbread.

Veggie burger and sweet potato fries. mmm mmm good!

Some things we've been eating and growing..

2011-06-27T14:16:00.000+02:00

Breaded eggplant with tomato sauce (vegan)

Red beets

A very adventurous hokkaido pumpkin plant.

Attempted vegan sponge cake. Could be spongier.

Figs. Not my favorite, but a pretty neat picture, I think.

Pumpkin blossoms remind me of adventures with oven broilers...

Oh that pumpkin...

What was a sunflower is now a slug snacking favorite.

Cocktail tomato plants, grown from seeds

Frido, guard cat. I'm trying to train him to chase slugs.

Panko breaded tofu from Vegan Dad, sesame green beans, and mashed sweet potatoes

New things (but not really)

2011-06-27T12:33:00.001+02:00

While taking a walk around the little lake, I made the mistake of not diverting my eyes, per usual. I got an eye-full of an old man and his little friends. Within 100 yards was a full on naked lady and her shrubbery. PK's advice, "Just look away." But I'm not meaning to see it in the first place! And then...well, then it sort of becomes like a car wreck.

Blah, blah, blah, I'm a puritanical American.

Not the case. Okay, partially the case. But really. Really. No one wants to see that stuff, except maybe the people who love you, and even then, I don't really think it is just a matter of a diverting your eyes. I've more or less accepted that in some places, there will be naked bodies. But these places make sense, for example, the changing room at the pool. But this is a lake! A man made lake, with a restaurant and a Biergarten and sport trails, and swans. Won't anyone think of the swans?! This isn't in the middle of nature, y'all, because then I'd somewhat accept the nudey bits.

I guess this is maybe one of those German things that I just won't ever "get". And maybe I don't want to "get" it. But it would be nice if everyone would quit pretending like I'm such the prude, when many (not all- see not stereotyping!) can't even leave the house without socks under their sandals or a scarf around their neck. There's an old wive's tale that if you walk with bare feet on a cold floor you will get a bladder infection. So answer this question for me: if your bare feet aren't supposed to touch the ground, why is it okay for your nether regions to chill in the open air? I would really be curious to know the logic there. Maybe I should learn how to knit scarves for balls. I suspect this is an untapped market. I also might, or might not, be a Never Nude.

Yuck, ew, yuck! Naked people. giggle giggle giggle

Nancy

2011-06-21T15:47:00.001+02:00

My attempt to take a picture at the border between France and Germany. Fail.

Then we got lost, ended up on the top of a hill and there was a castle. This is Europe, after all. Get lost in Texas and all you find is a gas station.

The view from the hill. One day, I will own all of this. Or something.

Second attempt at car photography.

Not very successful, but this is the hill we were just on top of.

Nancy

Doesn't this look ominous?

Market in Nancy. Directly after this the heavens opened and the wind blew, and all of that. Luckily we had a pizza box to use as an umbrella.

You never know...

...where you might find a climbing wall. Not that I plan on climbing it.

Back home in Germany... Arugula from the garden with Pan-fried Serviettenknödel

Post Punk Kitchen recipe for Pesto soup with mangold and gnocchi. We added spinach and toasted pine nuts. Very tasty. On the side some PPK cornbread.

I said it was good.

The Test

2011-06-08T23:33:00.002+02:00

Dun dun dun!
So after spending several weeks of being extremely worked up, I took the language test today. It was not as bad I was expecting. I won't find out my score for a few weeks, but I feel positive about it. After the test my brain was essentially jello, though. Some how neither I nor Thing #1 noticed that he left school without his backpack. The past two days he's left his water bottles at school. These, however, made it home today. Tradeoffs, I guess. Funny how that works, isn't it? Good thing he didn't have any homework. And it was fun to call his mom and say, "Oh...so...uhhhh, somehow we forgot to bring Thing #1's backpack home. Do we need that?" Sometimes I think she must be surprised that I don't call her to say that I've misplaced her children all together. But like the good childminder I am, I delegate these sorts of phone calls to the kids. It wasn't a big deal, of course, but I did feel like a bit of a dummkopf because I noticed that he didn't take his backpack with him and didn't say anything. Did the same thing this morning with my coffee, now that I think about it. I watched the woman make it, saw her put whole milk in the cup, thought, "Oh that couldn't be my coffee because I asked for soy milk." I then took the cup and only then thought to ask what kind of milk it was. I think my brain is broken. And I felt like a jerk because it was a wasted cup of coffee.

Other example of jello brain was when I called to schedule a hair cut today. It was the first time in months that a stranger has offered to speak English with me. I don't even remember what I said now, but it must've sounded pretty bad. It's weird. There are times when no matter how hard I try, I cannot even pretend to not talk like an English speaker. It's German words but in the most American of American accents.

"Gootin Taag. Koonen Sie mirror bittuh sahhhgin..."
"Would you like to speak English?"
"No. I mean, nein. Errrr. Wie bitte?"

I'll just chalk it all up to having used every last one of my brain cells on the test today and that that is a definitive sign of success.

And here some pictures of some things.


Vegan pizza, done German style with corn. I know. I know.

Sweet potatoes in the garden.

Far left: jalapenos, Top left: Sugarbaby watermelons, Top right: Hokkaido pumpkins, Bottom left: eggplant, Bottom right: zucchini squash, Front row: arugula

Radishes, beets, beans

Testes shaped fig

Lavender!

Marble Update

2011-05-30T01:45:00.002+02:00

I don't mean for this to sound snarky, but here goes. Remember how Thing #1 is really into marbles lately? Well, guess who chipped their front tooth, one of the only permanent adult teeth in his mouth, on a marble last week? Apparently he threw the marble at something and it bounced back and hit him in the mouth. I managed not to laugh when he told me the story, but jeez, what luck. I mean really. What are the odds of this happening? Marbles are really small. Teeth are equally small. How? Why? He wouldn't even tell me that he did it! He was scared I would be upset, which does upset me, but I wouldn't have been. It's not my tooth. Har har. But seriously. How does this happen? Now I get why Thing #1 spent 20 minutes in the bathroom on Friday afternoon when I came to pick them up from school. And I thought he was just doing his business. You know what I mean.

Anyway, I didn't even notice, and I'm not sure if I would have, because to me all kid teeth look crazy. They still have these tiny kid mouths that are jam-packed with giant adult teeth. Everyone is walking around looking like a deranged beaver. And it's only going to get worse when they all get braces. Don't think I've forgotten my own buck teeth.

Did I ever tell you about that when I was teaching? I loved my students, but I avoided looking at their little teeth at all costs. It truly made me feel crazy. What's crazier though, is that I've thought about my own children someday and whether or not I'll still love them if they have crazy teeth. Obvious answer is yes, but sadly, these are the things that I sometimes think about.

Kid teeth: you can't live with 'em, but you can apparently chip them with marbles.

Moral of the story: one should never play with marbles because chances are you'll chip your only adult tooth and your tooth will be ruined for the rest of your life.

Julie & Julia

2011-05-24T10:38:00.002+02:00

I'm not sure if I've written about this before, and because I really inconsistently use labels on my entries, it is a bit of a pain to check. Julie & Julie, have you seen it? I love this movie. It's about a woman in New York, 2002, who begins writing a blog about her experience "cooking her way through" Julia Child's cookbook. The movie is really two stories, that of Julie, the woman cooking through the cookbook, and Julia Child, as she learns how to cook while accompanying her husband in France. I love movies that are romantic interpretations of reality. It is my escapism. I hate Sci-Fi movies. Rom-coms are for me what Sci-fi is for nerds. It should come as no surprise that Nora Ephron directed the film. The movie touches on deeper themes like dissatisfaction with work and loneliness, but in such a way that it never really goes so deep that you have to really identify with said feelings. And that's why I like it. It's my way too generous reward for having read some articles in the Sueddeutsche Zeitung this morning.

I'm still studying for my language exam. I will take it in two weeks. I feel nervous, of course, so I keep reading about other people's experiences with the test. One guy wrote about how you have to bring all of the food that you will want during the day (it's a 4.5 hour test) and leave it on your desktop throughout the exam. He said that every single woman in the room had a huge chocolate bar on her desk, some of the biggest that he had ever seen. At first I though, "Ugh, you ass. Stop being so ass-y and judgmental about women." But then I thought, "Mental note: Bring biggest chocolate bar you can find." Other people have written about how difficult it can be during the oral section of the test because you are in a lab with 19 other people, all speaking at the same time. (Answers are recorded on tape and then sent to the grading center.) That ought to be exciting. I figure, though, that after working as a third grade teacher, you learn pretty well to hear your own voice through a cloud of yammer. Anyway, I feel pretty nervous about it, so I'm watching Julie & Julia and thinking about giant chocolate bars.

In kid news, Thing #2 has of late become obsessed with roller skating, or more precisely, roller skating dancing. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but let's get real, it's way too late for that, so.... that is probably the nerdiest little nerd sport. Thing #2 is super excited about it, even though she has to be in the baby class because the other kids her age (8!) are already much farther ahead of her. She does spins and hops all through the house saying, "Guck mal!" (Watch!), and I'm thinking, "Wow. That one foot hop sure looks different than the other 19 times you showed me." But alas, she is eight, and so I watch and act like this is the first time I've seen her hop on one foot and that it is the coolest thing I've seen all week. Plus I know she'll be over it in about a month, with a new best friend and a new favorite sport. Little girls are kind of awful in that way. Is this what having kids is? Thing #1 is obsessed with marbles and still hasn't figured out that when you hop around with your sack of marbles, they're probably going to fly out and go everywhere. Sigh. Every time.

Other than this, it is still Spargelzeit. (Oh no they dinit: There's a website.) Spargel = asparagus. People talk about this for weeks before it happens. It's a big deal. White asparagus is also the preferred type. Guest dad came home last weekend with a bunch of it, probably like a pound and a half, for the two people in the house that eat it (himself and Thing #2). Therefore, I received about a pound, and this is what we came up with to make.

Spaghetti with lemon sauce and arugula from the garden. It has, since this photo, become known as the penis spaghetti. I'll let you figure that one out for yourself. It was very delicious. Speaking of the garden, here is a video of the day that the birds invaded and stole our zucchini seeds, the bastards!

"We were just taken over by Spatzen...we just got up and can see this huge army of birds... I hope they aren’t taking our seeds. At least the watermelon has survived....This reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds..."

So, yeah. Birds, gardening, tests, Julia Child, giant chocolate birds (ha! Typo. Should've typed bars)...that's life. Giant chocolate birds.

Eurovision, more like Eurasia...vision

2011-05-16T15:25:00.000+02:00

It's been a month. What have you done?

Is it not very much like me? Yes. Life is the same standard thing. Something about living around children makes life mundanely routine. Perhaps mundane isn't the best choice of words because of its negative connotation, but it is the best word I can think of to describe the schedule. I would be lying if I didn't say that I feel equally disturbed when things aren't the same due to this or that, and I have to change my routine. I am a creature of habit.

The two major popular culture events in the past two weeks have been the Finale of Deutschland Sucht den Superstar, the German version of American Idol and the Eurovision Song Contest. I am a huge sucker for this junk. I'd never dare to watch it in the US, but translate it to German and it somehow becomes mesmerizing. The good news, or maybe the bad news, is that German teenage girls appear to have the same polling power as American teenage girls. The guy who won DSDS is quite the simpleton. The producers of the show worked so hard to scandalize it all, by setting up the Finale to be between a boyfriend and girlfriend. The girl is a far superior singer, but hey, I guess the people who watch DSDS tend to be myself and 12 year old girls, and half of us vote with our little teenie hearts. Oh Pietro, du Fisch. For the record, I did not actually ever call to vote. So. There's that.

Eurovision, which I wrote about that once before, happened again this past weekend. In an upset, Azerbaijan, of all European countries (I scoffed), won with a really ... well, a really cheesy duet. If your eyes are sensitive to crappy crap, don't watch.

Two things. First, I think that guy looks kind of like Justin Timberlake. Second, that lady's hair weird to me. What I find interesting about Eurovision is that it seems like all of these countries strive to find artists that do not look anything like what people from that country are "supposed" to look like. I mean, the guy from Sweden had dark brown hair. What's that about? Why aren't these people fulfilling my stereotypes? Anyway, here are some other songs for your listening pleasure.

Lena, Germany's entry for Eurovision

Serbia's Eurovision entry

Italy's Eurovision entry

Sweden's Eurovision entry

Greece's Eurovision entry

In my professional opinion, Eric Saade, the dude from Sweden, is a douchebag. Also, the lyrics kill me, "Stop don't say it isn't possible, 'cause I know, it's possible." Solid gold writing. I had thought that the Scandinavian countries were supposed to have superior English skills. Yikes. Greece. Just...just watch it. I can't even comment it is so scary. I think I covered my eyes. Serbia was cute, but the problem is that we have no idea what she is saying. I think it's admirable to sing in your own language, but that she would've gotten way more votes if people would've been able to identify with the song. We actually quite liked Italy's song. Relative to the other stuff that some countries put on stage, I'd say it was the best. They actually got second place, which is also funny, because apparently that man who performed didn't even known what Eurovision was until he was selected to be a part of it. Har har. I like Germany's song as well, but I find Lena as a human being to be pretty unbearable. Ah, I almost forgot Ireland. How can you forget Ireland? Man. These guys. These guys.

Pure, meth-fueled magic.

So Summer is pretty much here. I'm coming to terms with my whiteness and already managed to get a sunburn from just being outside. You can't win em all.

Atomkraft, nein danke.

2011-04-05T09:28:00.003+02:00

As I wrote about last month, elections happened recently in a few regions in Germany, including the one that I live in. For a lot of different reasons, but I think mostly because of heightened fears due to the Fukushima disaster, for the first time in over fifty years the party in charge in this region changed.
I won't assume that everyone is interested in German politics, but if you are, read this. So now, the Minister-President of this state is a member of the Green Party.

The German political system is different than the American system in that it is a multi-party system. Rather than being dominated by either democrats or liberals, the Parliament works in party coalitions that are named based on the colors that represent that party, and the party that has more seats is named first the coalition, i.e. Green-Red vs. Red-Green. So, although the CDU, whose color is black, received the majority of the votes in this region, the party whose candidate is now the Minister-President of the region is actually from the Green party because they are working in a coalition with the SPD, which is represented by the color red. Together, the Green-Red coalition will run the state of Baden-Württemberg, because the two parties, who finished in second and third place respectively, have a combined total of seats in government that outnumber the seats won by the CDU. Got it?? I remember being in a second semester German class and hearing presentations about German Parliament and thinking two things. First, I need to learn more German. Second, what? It makes more sense to me now, and is an appealing system, in that, it seems more more fairly representative of the people and provides more political options. It doesn't feel quite as voting for "Evil" or "Slightly Less Evil". The system also depends on opposing parties cooperating, which is a word that does not exist in the US Congress. Can you even imagine a day when our senators and representatives don't waste every day arguing with each other about a woman's uterus? Morality, to the best of my knowledge, doesn't even seem to play so much of a role here. Imagine that, politics fueled by economic and environmental concerns, rather than a dog-and-pony show about the decline of morality. This isn't to say that German politicians aren't still politicians, but it is nice to see politicians actually talking about politics and not their sexual histories or whether or not they attend church or were really born in the United States. However, academic records, as we saw with Herr (Dr., but not really) Guttenberg is relevant material for criticism. Although, speaking of being born in the country where you are a politician, interestingly, this guy, the current Foreign Minister and Vice-Chancellor of Germany is going to be stepping down soon and likely replaced by this guy, a very young man who was adopted by a German family as a baby from Vietnam. Germany is certainly leaps and bounds beyond the US if they can accept an openly gay political figure head being replaced by a non-native German, both who are serving under a female Chancellor who was born in the former DDR.

Besides all of the political talk, the weather has been improving steadily. Most days are sunny and this past weekend was apparently the hottest Easter weekend in over 100 years. Go, global warming, go! The semester will be starting soon here at the University as well, and I plan on trying to visit a lecture or two, to beef up on my German skills. Having routines and schedules makes blog updating a lower priority, but it seems to me that the only logical response to that is to write updating into the schedule. As promised with every post, I will do my best to write more frequently. Laziness and life just seem to get in the way.

Ciao, y'all!

2011-03-14T22:03:00.010+01:00

Guess what I did? I went to Milan, Italy. Vespa, cappuccino, lasagna and stuff, right? Well, it was. I had the time to make this trip because Thing 1 and Thing 2 had time off for school because of Fasching, aka Karnival, aka Mardi Gras. The family went skiing in Switzerland and I went on a food vacation. Before we left though, we made some Berliner, you know of "Ich bin ein Berliner" fame. Yes, vegan jelly donuts...get in my belly.

This is how my eyes express pure joy.

Being all krauty with his German beer and his German donut and yelling things about panzers and lederhosen.

That jelly donut said "Pfff."

What you see out the window in a train headed toward Milan.

What the train says to you when you enter Milan.

Strip mall, Milano style.

Sup Duomo?!

Awesome vegan gnocchi and zucchini at a vegan restaurant called Mudra's.

Some sort of rice and scalloped potatoes at Mudra's. Bomb.it, y'all.

Oh, fancy a vegan cappuccino? We did. And we liked it.

Room for dessert? Then have some vegan tiramisu. Not really my thing but still awesome.

After having our pasta inspected by the security guard, we walked on the roof of the Duomo.

And looked down on all the people below us, as we do.

That guy saw something cool up in the sky. It was probs Baby J.

Okay. Update complete.

Hand Flapping

2011-02-23T23:53:00.007+01:00

...is what I'm doing as I type this: new layout(ish). Do you like it?

Ho hum, it's pretty cold outside. It's the kind of cold that makes you get why your parents tell you to put on a hat. If you don't wear a hat your head hurts. At least mine does. Maybe it's because it's a Texan model and Texan models weren't built for this kind of weather. Following the advice of Devendra Banhardt I'm working on becoming a Long Haired Child so that I don't have to wrap it (my head) up in materials.. or whatever. I mean, he's not at all crazy. Crazy people give the best advice.

So let's talk German political scandals. This guy, whose full name is Karl Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg, but you can call him KT, Kar Kar or Schatzi, is in deep shits. He has a doctorate in Law, or so we thought, until it was released that huge chunks of his dissertation were plagiarized. He had been making the news a lot before this with many people suggesting that he'd be a good candidate to consider for Chancellor.

Oops.

Other news in German politics/crazy people, elections are coming and that means that the 1,001 political parties that exist here have their posters up. I'll try to be more diligent and take more pictures, but this one...well, do I really even have to explain this? I'll have you know, I saw him once on the train and I remember him because he's just as ridiculous in real life.

Because there's nothing more German and Pirate-y than the middle name "Cruel".

He was talking on his cell phone about ordering pizza and I remember thinking to myself, "Hmm. When you see people like that, you never think about the fact that they have to eat too." And if you do, you're not like, "Oh, I bet he just loves pizza." You're like, "I bet he eats only pixie sticks and oreos." But yeah, there's a Pirate Party. So, that's dumb.

Another funny picture that I don't have to explain.

Ha. Your name is Butt. Nub. Buttnub. Butterynub.

Last but not least, I started a yoga course today. I'm the youngest person in there by about twenty five or so years, besides one youngish woman. I expect lots of accidental farts. Can't. Wait.

And here's a quick brag about all the cool things I've baked in the past couple of days.

Vegan Chocolate Truffles get in my mouth!

Little Vegan Shortbread Hearts for the Stinktrons, Things 1 and 2.

KALE! I didn't bake this, but I should've. "I'll take the tower of kale, please." Thank you.

Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Cake with Vegan Chocolate Ganache. Yes, it was awesome. No, it was not fully appreciated. i'moverit.

Vegan Chocolate Chip Muffinz. Live it. Love it. Get a lil belly while you do it.

Minion

2011-02-10T15:07:00.005+01:00

I'm enjoying my time with Thing #2 a lot lately. Earlier this week, I suggested to her that she start her own recipe collection book and she has been talking about it non-stop since. This obviously pleases me greatly. The first recipe that we added to her book was one for pasta. Naturally, we made the pasta vegan with semolina flour. It's a very simple recipe with just the semolina, a little olive oil, a little salt and some water.

Huge success. However, it did take a little bit of time to clarify to Thing #1 and Thing #2 that in English "noodles" and "pasta" are not the same thing. Actually, I imagine it was pretty confusing for them because the word Pasta in German means paste, as in toothpaste (die Zahnpasta), and the word Nudel works for all types of "noodles", Italian or Asian style. I think I've set myself up to have to make pasta every week now though. I guess that's not terrible and if Thing #2 is having a good time, than good. I warned her though that we're going to have to branch out from pasta and cupcakes. I mean, I know that I could live on cupcakes and pasta, but I know it's not for everyone.

Beyond this, the sun has been out almost all week, which is thrilling. People on the street look noticeably happier. I admit that I did a ballet-style leap across my room earlier. Trust me, it was as graceful as it sounds. You don't value only having two seasons (hot and less hot) until you're suddenly faced with four (quasi-hot, warm, cool, and ass-cold). The only reason I've ever looked forward to the Summer in the past was because of not having school. Now I can hardly wait for it to be warm again. Another Texan friend who was living here in Germany made the comment that he never liked summers in Texas but after living in Germany for a couple of years, it became his favorite season. I completely understand that now and it's only been half of a year. Oh Summer, where art thou?

In other news.....huge news, I met another au pair here in Freiburg, who, wait for it....knows one of my cousins. How weird is that? Beyond the fact that we're obviously meant to be, I mean, what? How does that even happen?

Now it's time to go pick up the kids from school. I need to go make myself beautiful. Thing #2 has a little fashion show thing after school today and one never knows when one might be discovered, so it's best that I put on my good pants and some deodorant. This isn't France, people. Stinky pits will not be tolerated. I'll be crushed if any of the second graders think I'm out of fashion.

Mensch!

2011-01-26T08:09:00.001+01:00

When I walked downstairs this morning I saw the Dreaded Bucket. I asked who was sick at the breakfast table and luckily neither Thing #1 or Thing #2 had lost their schnitzels in the night. Just kidding, they didn't eat schnitzel for dinner, but talk about stereotypes!

As I was putting away the cereal at breakfast, I noticed a little black thing on the floor. Proceeding with caution, because one never knows when one might accidentally touch a bug, I picked it up and realized it was a raisin. Phew. Crisis averted. Thing #2, however, noticed I was doing something interesting and came to ask me what I had in my hand. I told her it was a raisin. She immediately stuck it in her mouth. I think my jaw dropped a little and I said, "Well, I think you might trust me too much. I could've just fed you a bug." She was completely unfazed. It reminded me a story in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid, in which one of the characters makes his little brother eat a black fuzz, that he told him was a spider. I guess somehow I'm sort of a sibling too, you know, making the kids eat fake bugs and laughing about it.

I did lots of walking this morning and by that I mean, I walked into Thing #1's room and he was sitting there trying to put his head into the sleeve of his turtleneck. Little guy is in an uphill battle every day. Thing #2 wanted to take a picture.

Siblings: always there to point out mistakes, document them and laugh.

One little story

2011-01-25T08:12:00.005+01:00

This little tidbit of my morning is narrated to you in the hope that you will accompany it with either a beer or a cup of coffee, depending on the timezone that you live in.

7:04AM: I come down to the breakfast table. Already I can tell that it's going to be a silly morning because Thing #2 is building a wall around her place at the table with cereal boxes and the milk carton. I can't help but think about the Maginot Line and how weak her defenses are. Decide against sharing this information with her, lest she learn and build stronger defenses.

7:11AM: Thing #1 enters the kitchen. He is clearly not amused this morning. Sits down, removes his cereal of choice from the Maginot Line, makes a quick scan for the milk and starts eating. Thing #2 begins to realize what I saw not seven minutes before: her wall is not so strong as she thought. We eat in relative peace for about ten minutes.

7:21AM: Thing #2 decides that right now is a good time to practice the piano. I can already see where this is going. Thing #1 immediately begins to yell Thing #2's name in that annoying way that only a German child can, "Thi-iii-iiii-iing ZWEIIII, sei LEISER!" Thing #2 could not give a horse's patoot and continues to play as if nothing is out of the ordinary. Thing #1 becomes increasingly enraged. I, quite cleverly, if I do say so myself, close the sliding pocket door to buffer some of the, ahem, beautiful piano playing. Thing #1 is not satisfied and turns the volume on the radio up substantially. Oh super, they're playing that stupid "I Will Love You" song. Please kill me now.

7:27AM: Interestingly enough, this is the longest Thing #2 has consensually practiced piano in months. No one can ever say that girl doesn't have great timing. She returns to the table and in my sweet voice, I ask Thing #1 to turn down the radio. Surprisingly, he does so without any "na gut". This pleases me. The radio announcers, who find themselves to be hilarious, play the same stupid joke every morning in which, seriously y'all, the humor is that the first letters of words are switched around. This is hotally tilarious to Thing #1 and Thing #2, but for some reason they decide to step it up a notch, and start replacing all of the 'a' sounds in words with 'u'. Suddenly, it sounds like a kitchen full of Dutch people.

7:32AM: Thing #2 decides to go get dressed. Thing #1 starts on his second bowl of cereal. I remark to Mom that I bet he'll be almost as tall as me by the summer. This kid packs it away. I mean, really packs it away. I hope when I have kids someday, if they're boys, that I make a lot of money because I don't know how I could afford a child that eats as much as this one.

7:38AM: The Things are dressed. Thing #1 plays with a bouncy ball while Thing #2 brushes her teeth. I stand in the doorway and watch them interact. Thing #1 (foolish boy!) bends over in the doorway in front of Thing #2. Thing #2 smacks him on the ass and does a celebratory fist pump. The kind of fist pump that's like pulling down a lever at your side, not the over head kind. I have to resist the urge to high five her because she managed to continue brushing her teeth throughout this whole ordeal. I really love this child more everyday. Thing #1 is not pleased. He throws the bouncy ball at Thing #2 and misses (ha!). Thing #2 scurries into the bathroom and Thing #1 follows her in. Something happens that I don't see.

7:41AM: Thing #1 is still upset and in protest stands outside on the front porch. Somehow him standing in the snow is supposed to elicit a reaction from Thing #2 and myself. I decide after about 30 seconds to say (in my sweet voice), "Komm rein, Thing #1" and he comes in quickly with a "Na gut". Little dude is having a rough morning.

7:45AM: Thing #2 is putting on her hat and gloves and starts asking me what I will do today. I tell her I'm meeting with a friend. She then asks me the five W's: Who, What, When, Where, Why. Thing #2 seems a little confused as to why we will not be eating ice cream. Because her mom is sitting there, I say because it's too cold, but really I'm thinking to myself, "Hmm. That's not a bad idea. Maybe I will eat ice cream today." Thing #2 suggests that I bring her with me and reminds me that one can eat ice cream the whole year through. I give Thing #2 a look of, I know, right?, while Mom says that she'll have to wait until the summer. Oh, grown ups!

And Scene

I hope that got you through your coffee/beer/tea/beverage of choice. It's time now for me to finish my coffee too. Gotta make room for that ice cream.

A lil quick one..

2011-01-20T14:24:00.004+01:00

Sometimes you just have to write something down (type it on a public forum) because it just tickles you so much.

One of the things that makes German young people and American young people parties different is that German young people are polite and take off their shoes. Americans keep their shoes on because one never knows when one might need to run from the cops. That's the only reason I can come up with anyway.

Giving new meaning to the phrase "Party Socks" since 1986.

Germans can also open a beer bottle with literally a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. But that's not any new information, it just never ceases to highlight my own inadequacies in bottle openage. I'll still be digging through your utensil drawer for an opener when you've already finished half a crate of beer. That's why Americans drink out of cans at parties.

Salzstangen und Spezi

2011-01-19T10:45:00.001+01:00

To open this post, I want to share with you all a letter that I wrote to a very important figure in my life. Here it is:

Now that that's out of the way, we can move on to other things. One of the little ones had a little puke party this week. You'll be glad to know that mothers in Germany and mothers in the United States attack the kiddie tummy aches with same strategy: salty snacks and soda. Of course, at home you were either a saltines and Coke Kid or a saltines and Ginger Ale Kid. Here it's pretzel sticks and Spezi or Coke. Spezi is a combination of orange soda and coke. It sounds a lot more disgusting that it is, I promise. It's actually pretty tasty, if you're a soda drinker. Either way, in both countries it seems the bucket next to the bed is standard procedure. Man, can't wait to have some kids of my own. Barf.

Further moving on from the appetizing subject of vomit, we made some more cupcakes this week. I ordered a mini-cupcake pan online. Uniformity in the amount of batter you put into the mini pan seems much more critical than in a normal sized cupcake pan.

Vegan Lemon Cupcakes with Lemon Buttercreme

I also made some cupcakes on the weekend that will just have to go down in history as the most delicious and non-photographed cupcakes that ever existed. I used the tiramisu recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. Ohhhh man. They were what would happen if you married a cinnamon roll and awesome. I know I said I don't use the word awesome lightly, but, hot dang y'all, they was good. I'll have to try making them again and I'll be certain to take a picture.

We've had the luck of some warm and sunny weather the past week and it's about to get wintery again. Not pleased one bit. So with that, I'm going to go have another cup of coffee and bounce off some walls inside, seeing as it is cold and rainy outside.

All play and no work...

2011-01-13T08:24:00.000+01:00

...makes me bake cupcakes. Technically, I am working when I bake because I do it with the kids, but the fact that I'm not attending language classes right now means I've got some surplus brain cells to devote to cupcakes. I'm about to say something really American so get ready. Are you sitting down? Great.

"I'm kind of obsessed."

I still haven't figured out how to translate this concept of "kind of" into German. I guess ein bisschen (ein bissel, if you're feeling dialekt-y) could work but that actually means "a little bit". You never realize how many words you waste in a sentence saying practically nothing until you start trying to communicate those same ideas into another language, like, um you know? winky wink

Vegan Maple Cupcakes with Cinnamon Peanut Butter-Maple Icing

This week we tried something new and substantially less sweet: Maple Cupcakes. Again I got the recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. We didn't make the icing that the recipe called for because it was needlessly complicated. That's really my biggest caveat about vegan baking. The recipes often call for things that most normal people don't have readily available in their kitchen. This is why the Joy of Vegan Baking appeals to me. That book is much more "user-friendly" in that it rarely requires what I deem to be "ridiculous" ingredients or time investments. Although this does play to my preference of consciously cooking and eating. You always have to plan ahead. It can be a little tricky to vegan bake on the fly. A vegan would never bake a fly, you know, because that would kill it. That was funny, right?

Sleep is for the birds

2011-01-10T05:24:00.007+01:00

or for people who are normal. I've been back in Germany for almost two weeks now and still haven't been able to sleep on a regular schedule. I suppose it isn't completely uncommon for me to not sleep at all. It happened often in High School, although, oddly not as often in college. Whenever I couldn't sleep, I always enjoyed watching the first ABC WorldNews broadcast at 3:30AM. The news anchors were always much more relaxed and jokey and I felt like I often managed to catch something crazy happen. I wish I could think of a specific example.

Big news as of late in German land is the Dioxin Scandal. Basically, a bunch of animal feed was contaminated with a toxic chemical therefore resulting in contaminated eggs and chicken. This is causing thousands of chickens to be destroyed, millions of euros to be lost and hopefully, many questions to be raised.

What a great time to not be eating meat or eggs, right?

My main question: how do you think your food gets to your table at such a "low" cost? Take the fork out of your mouth and pause for two seconds. What are you eating?

When was the last time that you did this? I'm not even talking about being vegetarian or vegan but simply considering what it is that you are choosing to put into your body. We aren't going to continue to be "victims" in these sorts of food "scandals" if we start pausing more to think about we are eating and demanding greater transparency from the producers of food. Personally, I have the luxury and finances to have control over what I consume but I'm worried about the people who don't. It's going to take the rest of the you's and me's, who do have a choice, to stand up and say something because policy and industry don't take kind to the disenfranchised poor folks. Animals take time and care to properly and humanely raise, so if you aren't going to take the time to do so, then you have absolutely no right to act so empört when one day your food is dangerous to consume. At what point does it become more important to you to eat cheaply and quickly than morally and thoughtfully? Is it before or after giant food scandals? Let me supplement this by saying that I have been reading Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. I do recommend this book, especially if you enjoyed the Omnivore's Dilemma. Anyway, /rant.

More talking about food, I baked some bread and a batch of cupcakes this past week. The bread was pretty tasty but I would've preferred to compare more recipes and then develop my own. Alas, I was working with Blackberry internet access and that really limits a person in their search. Unless of course they have more patience than me. The cupcakes I baked were a vegan chocolate cupcake recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. Normally, I use the chocolate cake recipe from The Joy of Vegan Baking but I think I might like this new one a little bit better. I do feel that they would be worth attempting to bake again because the kids and I made a last minute decision to add some cherry marmalade to the cupcake centers. This made them almost unbearably sweet.

Vegan Chocolate Cherry Cupcakes with Vanilla-Almond Buttercreme

We topped them off with almond-vanilla buttercreme and blanched almonds. I'd consider it a humble first attempt with significant room to improve on. Either way, what makes me happy is that after four days only one cupcake remains. It pleases me so greatly when people eat my cupcakes.

My apologies again for not being particularly funny or entertaining, I just feel very strongly that we all ought to take a minute and consider what we're consuming.

Oh look

2011-01-06T16:40:00.001+01:00

Some tasty vegan snacks.

I can see it in your patty
I can see it in your buns
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my mouth is open wide
'Cause you know just how to taste
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
HELLO!

Burger from V e g a n D a d, a beer and Lionel Richie? Yes, please. That's avocado and mustard on top, by the way. It looks awful in this picture but I can assure you, 'twas delicious.

Lionel Richie Hello.
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January

2011-01-02T23:48:00.009+01:00

Well, here's me not being the best blog updater. My apologies.

I flew back home on the 20th of December and most of the time up until that point was spent running around doing something or other for this or that. Hopefully in the New Year I'll be back to regular writing. I'm not going to lie and say that I've made some resolution to do such. Actually, my New Years resolution is to have better posture, so I've got that going for me. Here are some pictures to prove why I've been too busy / lazy / tired to write on the interwebz.

Vanilla Kipferl are traditional German Christmas cookies made with ground nuts (usually hazelnuts or almonds), butter, flour, and sugar. They are very similar to Mexican Wedding Cookies.

Walking home from school (takes forever).

The school. Under that dome is a tennis court, if you were wondering.

That white stuff is snow, if you were wondering.

Only in Germany (or maybe in Brooklyn) would this game exist or would this be the package it came in.

Stollen at the grocery store in Texas. Just couldn't get away from ze Germans.

More German Christmas foods. Why are they following me??

Obviously, this is my peanut company.


Five people who should not be left alone together.

Also have been making / eating lots of vegan foodstuffs lately, as you can see.

Avocado, Pinto Bean and Mushroom Enchiladas from "Eat, Drink, and Be Vegan".

Semmel Knödel with Seitan and Argula Salad with Heirloom Tomatoes. (Booyakasha!!)

At home I also made some more vegan stuffs, including Squash and Bell Pepper Soup, a Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie, more Vanilla Kipferl, Käsespätzle, and a Pear and Macadamia Nut Tart with a Gingersnap crust. So there you have it. Can't you see how busy and awesome I am? By the looks of it I'm pretty much spending time eating, reading recipes or thinking about eating. It's a good life to live.

Saying One Thing and Doing Another

2010-11-28T23:57:00.004+01:00

I said I wasn't baking anything for Thanksgiving and then I did. I baked three little apple pies because I just had to. The idea of not baking pie on Thursday was too much. So here are the little apple pielettes... pilots, if you will.

They didn't taste quite as good as I wanted them too. I used a had puree-er thing instead of a food processor to make the crust. I think that I also used slightly too much butter. I also don't think I gave the dough enough time to chill. I'll probably make pies again but with a different recipe and filling. Little cherry pilots would most likely be the bomb.com.

In other news we had our first snow of the season. It started as I was leaving the house to go watch the Saints vs. the Cowboys. It was kind of unbelievable but I selfishly wanted to believe that it was someone, somewhere trying to make me stop being a gloomy gus about the whole Thanksgiving thing. I did find it all pretty exciting but I was happy when the day was finally over.

In other, other news, today was the first day of Advent, which is huge here, by the by. I got an Advent calendar that is filled with Lindor chocolates. Predictably, you are jealous. I always enjoyed the Advent calendar as a kid. Our mom was awesome and made us special clues every day that we had to solve in order to find our Advent treat. I remember practically running home from school so that I could open it first. Looking back on things like this really make me realize two things. First, I have an awesome mom. Second, I am my mother's child and will attempt to lead my children on as many wild goose chases as possible.

The next thing I need to do now is drink Glühwein at the Christmas market and live to write about it. I've drank it before and know that it's not a drink I really enjoy, but when in Germany do as the Germs... or so they say.

Giving thanks for things like...Genocide

2010-11-25T14:52:00.003+01:00

I've never been one of those people who says things like, "You know when we celebrate Thanksgiving, we're really just celebrating the mass murder of millions of Native Americans?" And you sort of just blink your eyes and shove another spoonful of mashed potatoes into your mouth. I'm surprised that I'm not because that's totally something I would say, but I've always been the blinker/mashed potato-in-mouth-shover. Can't we just save all of that for Columbus Day? I mean, he was the real asshole, amirite?? He thought he was in India? Geeeez, what a jerk.

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, I'm pretty bummed to not be at home, or at least within the boundaries of the continental US (screw Hawaii and Alaska! sorry Lana- I thought I had it rough with Dubya but now you've got Palin to account for. My sincerest condolences). I actually kind of almost cried a little bit last night after dinner. I'm trying not to be a baby about this, considering I'm theoretically an adult and all, but listen! I'm not even making pie. I've made pie on this day for the past fourteen? fifteen? years. I started making the Thanksgiving pies as soon as my mother determined that I could handle the task without destroying the kitchen. Let's call this the "Year of No Pie". You even have to order proper pie plates online, which is ridiculous, but whatever. You can't even go into the grocery store and buy a shitty disposable aluminum one. WHATEVER. I'm over it and the day has just begun. So people, and by people I mean Europeans (our roots, y'all...assuming you hail from these parts) keep asking me things about the holiday. I thought I'd answer all of their questions here. I suggest you cut and paste it into Word, print it out and keep it in your pocket, should you too interact with any of these people.

FAQs About "Fanksgiving" (As pronounced by Thing #2):

What is Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is when Americans gather together to do what we're known for best: eating too much. Basically, the point is to get together with people, whether family or not, and watch football, whether you like football or not, and get drunk and eat. Most people will have a hangover on Thanksgiving because everyone went out the night before because Thanksgiving is just about the only day of the whole year that you can guarantee you won't have to work and won't have school. There's something about Pilgrims, a ship, a rock, and some Indians in there too. Minor details.

Isn't it the last day that people go outside and have "grill-parties" (aka barbeques)?

No, crumb-bum, that's Labor Day. Labor Day is another day, sort of like Thanksgiving, except that it involves more open-flames (of the intentional persuasion) and bodies of water.

How do you celebrate?

As previously stated, we cook for several hours and then eat so much food that we either have to lay down on the couch or unbutton our pants at the table. Both are 100% socially acceptable. I have heard that in many families that arguing about politics and/or religion are also a big part of the party. Normally, this is not a part of my family's Thanksgiving dinner. It's probably because, well, as the saying goes, "Wherever there's four Episcopalians, there's always a fifth."

What exactly is pie?

Pie is proof that God love us and wants us to be happy.

Are you cooking anything?

No, this year I am not cooking or baking anything. If you're not raised on Thanksgiving food and the holiday, I don't think you can appreciate the effort that goes into the food so much. Basically, half of the pleasure that comes with baking pies for Thanksgiving is the praise that comes with it. I made brownies earlier this week and they were a big enough hit. I've fulfilled my allotted need for baking-related compliments for the week.

Are you sad that you're not at home?

Yes, incredibly. Cruelly, although unintentionally, my German teacher chose to discuss the theme of "Home". One of the discussion questions was, "What is it about your home that you particularly like?" Felt kind of like a doofus, but I really had to not cry. Let me preface this by saying that I had just bought a coffee for myself that I was really looking forward to drinking. I never tasted a sip though because I set the stupid cup on an unstable surface and it, along with a full glass of water, spilled all over the floor. Unlike milk, I do think that spilled coffee is worth crying over. At least tonight I'll go watch the Saints vs. the Cowboys. That'll be something.

What are you thankful for this year?

This year I am thankful that I survived the Recovery School District without being murdered or murdering anyone. I'm also thankful that I can decide that I want to live abroad and do it. I'm also thankful for warm socks. And coffee. And Skype. The end.

Cold Feet and Vegetables

2010-11-16T11:51:00.005+01:00

Want to know a secret that's not really important? Okay, I'll tell you. Sometimes I use that square part on my Mac charger chord to warm my feet under the covers. I actually did this the first time on accident, when I fell asleep with my computer on my bed and woke up wondering why my feet weren't freezing. And it was awesome. Don't worry, I googled the chances of setting things on fire- they're not very high. ... all that high ... high enough for me to stop doing it. Turn off the judgment face.

We, and by we I mean a myself, a seven year old and an eight year old, had a fairly interesting conversation at the breakfast table the other morning. It started when said eight year old asked said seven year old, if she would rather be Catholic or Protestant. It devolved into something different but it's these huge questions from little people that keep me coming back to the question of choice. This also brings me back to my last post. I talked to several people about not voting after it was written and was brought to the conclusion that having the right to vote is more important than the actual vote itself. The point is to appreciate the right and the choice. And clearly I wasn't doing that. I allowed politics to ruin things for me. Next time, I'll register on time and educate myself about what is going on, instead of hiding in a shell of, "It doesn't matter anyway." Although, frankly, I still really don't feel that my vote matters, but I do value the right to do so, and will respect that by engaging in the process.

Anyway, What happened to this being funny? Let's see... I've been spending obscene amounts of time on the internet reading about all sorts of this and thats. I've been spending time with friends and the family. I've been toying with the idea of returning to veganism, a feat thought previously infeasible in Germany, although, in this case it may be better to frame it as, a feat thought previously infeasible when being fed by another person and still remaining in the good graces of gratefulness and not being a pain in the ass-ness. Which, in some ways still seems this way, because being vegetarian or vegan in Europe seems to be a lot more of a statement than it does at home? I say that with a question mark because I still can't decide what I think about it. Maybe it's just the people I spend my time with at home, "friends" if you will, and to not eat meat is not some great sacrifice. I'd also venture to say that it's also, at least not by me anyway, viewed as a political statement or major reflection of that person. They just don't eat meat, ya know? Big deal? But then I also remember how impossible it was to not talk about being vegan all of the damn time when I was eating vegan. Hmm. Chicken or the egg? I appreciate the animal metaphor in this context. I hope you do too.

Regardless, I guess it was a pretty big hassle to be vegan in New Orleans, and the fact that I chose comradery and community over animals, shows the depth of my political commitment to the cause. I didn't really like feeling like an outsider. So I guess it is a statement of self. Look at me working things out on the internets. I don't think we always value how important sharing mealtimes are to building community. Acchhsooo! Perhaps this is why requiring special food would be a problem in Europe because they DO value mealtime, as they do in New Orleans. Man. I'm on a roll here. Don't stop me now. Alright, who am I trying to build community with here? Germany is not really a land of dabblers. You either do something or you don't. So, if you love either/or decisions, move to the Fatherland. Vee havs no in-betwveen! NEIN!!

Have I told you about the girlfriend/friend paradox before? There is no word for girlfriend or boyfriend. It's the same word as friend, and you only know if someone is talking about a boyfriend or a friend based on the sentence. Nuts, right?

On Baseball, Voting, and Tommy Carcetti

2010-11-02T16:50:00.006+01:00

When I was at home in the United States the baseball playoffs felt like the longest time of the year. Perhaps this was aided by the fact that the duration of an average game of baseball is just shy of three hours, with the longest in recorded professional baseball history being eight hours and twenty-five minutes. Regardless, all I would want to do is watch something like the Simpson’s (or whatever else is even on Fox? Side Note: Although I didn’t actually watch Arrested Development when it was still on the air, I question the judgment of any network that would’ve canceled it, yet still runs COPS) and it would be the stupid MLB. My point here is that through Facebook Status Deduction (FSD), a new and complex theory of the Social Sciences, and the sudden silence of one particularly near-and-dear, die hard Yankees fan, I learned that the Texas Rangers made it to the final round of the World Series for the first time in franchise history. Good work, guys. Still not entirely sure who they played except that it was one of the teams from California. I’m going to go with the Oakland Raiders. (I think I’m so cute.) But anyway through FSD (yes, I just made that up) I learned from all of the sudden die-hard Rangers fans, cough cough, that the Rangers were “choking” and “sucking it up” and that sadly, the mysterious team hailing from California won. In closing, I love it when Texas, and I mean this as a concept and not any team or group or organization in particular, wins things, but I’m still really glad that I didn’t actually have to watch any baseball. How un-American of me. I still love apple pie though.

Other un-American thoughts as of late: I lack any real knowledge or interest in the current political elections. Sorry dudes. I don’t really understand what the hell is happening in our country. The Republican Party has been high jacked by a bunch of wacko nut jobs and the Democratic Party seems to have lost the ability to say anything. Does it concern anyone else that one of the biggest political rallies in recent history was lead by two comedians? Comedians?? Is this some gigantic philosophical commentary on our political system? I don’t know. Maybe. Surprise! Democracy is a huge joke. What's the punch line here?

I’m not a philosopher but I am concerned, albeit, not so concerned to go through the effort to vote absentee in the Texas governor’s race. I couldn’t even tell you the name of whoever is running that isn’t Rick Perry. I can say with full confidence, however, that whoever he/she/it is, I’d vote for them, especially if it identifies itself as an it. Anyway, I know it upsets people greatly when I say it, but I just don’t see the point of voting. Stop throwing your rotten vegetables at me! And don’t say something snarky like, “Choosing not to vote is still casting a vote.” A politician is a politician is a politician, and I have plenty of faith in my politically active friends to make intelligent decisions in my place. Yes, it would be very dangerous if everyone decided to think like me and not vote. I have faith that this will never happen because both sides are really great at pissing the other off, so much so, that it can sustain the system. A college professor once told me, “The number one job of a bureaucrat is to keep their job.” How focused can you really be on doing your job if you waste eighteen months of every term trying to convince me to vote for you? Wouldn’t it make more sense to, ummm, I don’t know, write a bill or something and stop tiptoeing around on eggshells so as to not piss off anyone in your constituency? Sometimes you're going to have to step on toes and I wish that anyone besides Ann Coulter and members of the Tea Baggers, I mean, Tea Partiers, would do this. I do find it problematic that I allowed Tommy Carcetti’s mayoral campaign on the Wire to affect how I feel about actual political campaigning. I would’ve voted for him but only because he’s soooo cute. Just kidding. Sort of.

EDIT: Ugh, leave it up to the NYTimes to make me feel guilty for not voting: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/02/opinion/02tue1.html?_r=1&hp

Motivation

2010-10-24T15:11:00.001+02:00

When I had the self-induced pressure to create something new every day, I found it much easier to write. Now I'm lacking motivation and creativity, finding myself slightly more in-tune with my surroundings, and as I said before, making them feel much less foreign. It's getting colder here every day. I heard it snowed on Friday, which terrifies me, because I'm not really mentally prepared for it. So far I'm surviving. On average, I am wearing three layers at any given moment. When the snow really hits the fan (ha ha), I wouldn't be surprised if I max out at five. I learned a new term: "Winterspeck". This translates to "Winter bacon", meaning, the weight that a woman gains during the winter time. Cute, huh? Actually, not at all. I think it's maybe supposed to be cutesy but I find it to be kind of gross. I can't help but think of pork belly, and well, pork belly is disgusting. I don't want to be compared to a pig.

So here's two interesting photos. The first I saw when I was in the city the other evening. We were walking around trying to find a bar that wasn't full of students. University just started again last week and now everything fun is always packed. Boo. Think about Austin in that last week of August when all the freshmen come. Dumb-dumbs driving the wrong way down one way streets and what not. That's kind of what it feels like. Anyway, we saw this picture and I had to document it.

I mean, if I was a man in the market for socks I'd buy these. The concepts of "manly" and "masculine" here and at home are quite different. Well, actually, Germany is certainly more similar than, say, France. Either way, it's different and we can leave it at that. American men, though, are certainly more capable of being simultaneously masculine and feminist, if I dare to make the generalization! This is a good thing.

Here is the second picture.

This sign says, "Important! Mornings, Afternoons, Evenings... for 10 minutes, open the window!" I just think it's funny that this would be posted in an apartment. Germans are sometimes a little nutters about fresh air, not that that's a bad thing. Who doesn't ever open their windows? I just don't understand why you need to remind people with a laminated sign. Someone is pretty serious about it.

Dialects and Bread

2010-10-10T11:32:00.005+02:00

Maybe it wasn't a good decision but I knew it was happening. I weighed myself at Chelsea's house the other day and after having to use Google to convert the kilograms to pounds, I realized just how much weight I've gained. Three pounds isn't much but considering it's been two and a half months...multiple that by a year...baby girl needs to watch herself. It's hard though! Almost at a minimum, we eat bread for one meal a day, if not two. Eating white bread with butter and cheese is not conducive to maintaining a trim waistline. I walk substantially more here than I did at home, although I could certainly afford to ride my bike. But the idea of riding my bike 8 miles every day (to and from the city) makes me feel sweaty just thinking about it. I understand that I'm being very difficult here. I don't want to gain weight but I also don't want to sweat. Obviously I'm not going to stop eating but I need to find some middle ground between biking a marathon and simple carbohydrates. Ack!

Speaking of bread, I was reading a little newspaper insert that the Sueddeutsche Zeitung put together for kids about the Reunification of Germany. (Side Note: The twenty year anniversary was celebrated about a week ago on October 3. I believe the "process" was technically complete, i.e. checkpoints in Berlin were opened, on November 9-10 but because this happens to be the same day that Kristallnacht occurred in 1938, October 3 was symbolically a much better choice.) Back to bread. One of the first little vignettes in the paper was about how foreigners, namely Americans, don't realize that Germany is not just dirndls and lederhosen. To prove this point, they have a map of Germany that has little pictures of all the different sorts of things you can find it different parts of the country. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of this.

It also briefly addresses the different dialects in the country and how, even though everyone here is "German", they all call their rolls something different. In Bavaria it's a Semmel, in Baden-Württemberg it's a Weck, in the north, it's called Schrippe, and in Nordrhein-Westfalia it's Brötchen. So, there you go. Germany IS diverse. Yes, I say that with my tongue deeply embedded in my cheek. Seriously though, there are differences, but is that diversity? Sure, I can compare to the US and say that the way someone in San Francisco lives is completely different from someone in Miami, but would we call that diversity? No, I don't think so. Again, back to bread. Personally, I call them Brötchen or Semmel, and usually I say Semmel because it's damn near impossible for me to correctly make the "chen" sound. I try to avoid most words with this sound. Thankfully, the dialect of this region uses the "el" or "le" to make diminuatives instead of "chen", so I fit in just fine. Unfortunately, I cannot refer to Munich, i.e. München, as Münel. Dang.

The rest of the paper goes on to talk about the division between East and West Germany, how people lived, how people tried to come from the East to the West. It also talks about notable Germans in other lands, various stereotypes of Germans (all true, just kidding...sorta), and celebrities who can claim some German roots. This was a personal favorite. Don't worry, I took a picture for you to see.

"Whoever is born on American soil automatically receives American citizenship." Yep, we put all our babies in cowboy hats. Surprisingly stereotyping for a paper that just talked a lot of shit about Americans stereotyping Germans. Mhmmm! This is not the case in Germany. Being born here does not automatically grant you citizenship. However, if your parents are German, it doesn't matter where you are born, you will still have German citizenship.

Dirk Nowitzki, "German Wunderkind". Basically this article talks about how even though he lives in the US now with all the glitz and money, he's still very down to earth. When asked by a reporter how many cars he owns, he answered (paraphrasing), "Why would I need more than one car?" How practical! How German! And they mention baseball.

Ah, my favorite. Did you know Leo DiCaprio is part German AND Justin Bieber is too! Germany 1, Rest of the world, 0. Bieber is also careful to say that he loves German girls. Ha! That kid is really going places.

I think to say that Germans lack a sense of national pride is a gross understatement. Thinking you're better than everyone else is, I think, pretty normal. But maybe I just can't get past being a Texan AND an American. Two points and a victory lap for me, so long as it won't make me sweaty. All in all, I very much enjoyed this newspaper for children. But is that really all that unexpected?

The thing is

2010-10-06T23:45:00.000+02:00

The thing is you get settled and then you notice less and less how foreign everything is. That's when things stop being interesting enough to write about. That's what is happening with me currently. However, I did notice today that more so than I ever did in the United States, including New Orleans which is home to an indefinite number of freak-o-zoids, is that I see something or someone walking down the sidewalk and think, "Well, that's not normal." Usually, this is a stranger yelling at a complete stranger or someone having used too much hair product. I also find myself saying, "Oh, and they felt so good when they put that on this morning. Bless their little heart." A lot. I don't know if they're big all over Europe but the pants, that I believe are called "harem pants" are all over the place here. I thought we learned our lesson with MC Hammer. Pants that bulge just above and then cinch at the ankles do nothing for no one. If I, by some horrible freak accident, come home at Christmas time with such a pair of pants, please take them away from me and throw them into the nearest open flame.

In other news, I still haven't finished my thirty drawings. The one I am supposed to do next, number twenty-eight, is of my dream outfit. I've thought about it once or twice but I'm still at a loss as for what to draw. I can predict it will be boring and involve a button down shirt. I love button down shirts. So classy.

I'm going to work on getting myself into some more culturally stimulating situations so I can make some pithy commentary and sweeping generalizations. For now, I am going to watch Mad Men dubbed into German. I cannot wait to hear the German Don Draper. I predict him sounding 125% more chauvinistic.

#27 of 30

2010-09-29T23:17:00.001+02:00

My parents made fun of me for ranting, so I'm going to try not to rant so much. Also, today is my Marma's birthday. Tell her "Happy Birthday" if you see her. I believe she is turning 29.

I've completely fallen off the picture-a-day train. I think I just made that idiom up. I don't think "falling off a train" is a thing people say, is it? Well, it should be. The next picture I am supposed to tackle is my dream house. However, I don't really feel like drawing a house at all right now. I'm also not entirely sure what I want my house to look like some day or really even where I want to live for that matter. I think if I lived in Austin though, I'd want to live in the West Lynn area or Hyde Park. A girl can dream, right? You see what I did there- I called myself a girl. What a hypocrite I am. Back to the topic, my dream house. I think it'd actually be quite nice to have a house like my parents have. I wish this was something more people who read this have actually seen but basically my mom has an incredible talent for decorating. It really doesn't matter to me if the house is big or small, modern or classic, I just want it to feel like a home. Although I do like big picture windows.

In other news, my au pair mother's parents are visiting for the week and it is awesome. Grandparents are the best. They tell great stories and cook food and yea! However, Opa and I keep ending up in situations where it's just the two of us, and neither of us knows what to say. I talk too quietly and he can't hear so great, and we just do lots of smiling and nodding and pretending like we know what's going on. I enjoy it so much. I have a real love/hate relationship with all things awkward. I hate that the situation is so awkward but I love the silliness of it. I'm perfectly content to sit next to him and sip on spirits, smiling and nodding. Really, the only thing that makes this different than most of my day is that I'm smiling. I do a lot of nodding and saying "mhmm". But for Opa I am happy to smile. So here's a tip, if you want to make me smile, become a cute old man who keeps refilling my glass with booze.

Before I do Whatever it is that I am "Supposed" to do

2010-09-27T23:15:00.004+02:00

First off, I understand that languages evolve and come about in all different ways. I need to stop taking it so personally that things like illnesses happen to predominantly fall into the Feminine gender case. That being said, one word in particular drives me really, really batty. That word is "Mädchen". This is the word for a girl. Generally women are referred to as das Mädchen until they are married or apparently older than me. Because I'm still referred to as "das Aupair-Mädchen" all the time... and it drives me nuts. One, because I don't like being called "girl", unless it is in jokey-jokey, "Say girl, how you been?" sort of way. Two, because it implies that because I am an unmarried female, I should in theory be completely asexual. I understand that adding "-chen" to the end of a noun, you are making it diminutive but why is this only for the word for girl and not boy? This is a legitimate question. So, if you are reading this and you can answer that question for me, I would love to hear it. Here's what wiki had to say:

Let me clarify why I'm thinking about this so much lately. I went to Munich this past weekend for the Oktoberfest. The culture in Bavaria, where Munich is, is exactly the stereotype that people think of when they think of German: lederhosen, dirndls, beer, etc. I know that Oktoberfest is an exceptional time of year when people are being way beyond whatever the stereotype is but people really are walking around in lederhosen and dirndls. Anyway. I think that the ideal female body type from region to region in Germany varies quite a lot. For example, in Bavaria, it seems that to be a curvy woman is a very, very good thing because that is precisely who the dirndl is designed for. I was telling Mandy that in one day at the Wiesn (another word for the Oktoberfest), I had about the best chance I'll ever have to know what it feels like to be a USO girl.

While the dirndl is a very flattering piece of clothing it is simultaneously completely objectifying. Lederhosen are decidedly less appealing.

Here in Baden-Württemberg, it doesn't seem quite so popular to let it all hang out. Again, I know it was Oktoberfest, but the traditional costume of the Black Forest region is decidedly less sexy.

I wish I only had more experiences with other regions of Germany so that I could make some better comparisons. In conclusion, Oktoberfest was fun, if not a little too nutty. And don't ever call me girl or I will cut you.

Oktoberfest!

2010-09-24T15:25:00.000+02:00

Alright, ladies and gents, you're going to have to wait until Sunday to see some more of my childlike drawings. I'm going to Munich for Oktoberfest. I will try not to get hit in the head with a coaster, lose my pants or insult any Dutch people. Adieu!

#26 of 30

2010-09-23T21:31:00.000+02:00

My Dream Job.

I think my dream job(s) are probably the exact same as about a million other people. I'd either like to have a bakery or be a travel writer, you know, as a dream job. I'd pick travel writer over bakery because being a travel writer would be substantially less stressful. Sure, you have deadlines, but in the end, all you really have to worry about is you. In a bakery, there's obviously a lot more work involved. However, at least you'd live somewhat of a more stable life. Sometimes always being on the way to somewhere isn't that great. Although, when someone else foots the bill, it sure gets a lot more tolerable. Take this week for example. It has been mad stressful in this house because we're going to Munich this weekend for Oktoberfest. I haven't gotten very much sleep and have had to do a lot more work around the house than I normally do, so I'm feeling especially worn out. So that's super. I hope I don't waste my whole weekend yawning.

Anyway. A travel writer.

#25 of 30

2010-09-22T22:50:00.002+02:00

My task for tonight was to draw about a favorite recent memory. The first thing that came to mind was mine and B's Sunday night routine. First, we would bitch about having to go to work on Monday for about five hours, give or take. Meanwhile, we'd be grading papers or making lesson plans. Around five o'clock, we'd call up Pizza Delicious and order something tasty. By the end of my time in New Orleans, Pizza Delicious was so busy that sometimes we couldn't even get through or we'd have to wait about three hours for a pizza. Either way, it was worth it. Next we'd complain some more about our jobs and then probably go to Canseco's Market on Esplanade to get wine to go with dinner. Afterward, we'd watch the previous week's episode of Mad Men, for a little refresher of course, rush to pick up our pizza, and then watch the new episode of Mad Men. Afterward, we'd talk about how much we didn't want to go to work the next day. I loved the Sunday routine.

Anyway, even though I went ahead and described that anyway... I was going to talk about the time that I went to Bacchanal with Kerry, Julia, and Allison was surely there... and someone else who I can't remember now and I feel really bad about that and I'm sorry. Man. Now that I'm really thinking about this story, I don't really remember it very well. We were sitting out back at Bacchanal, drinking wine like people do there, and we had a plate of cheese and bread. K-dizzle was wearing her birthday dress because I really want to say that it was her birthday. I am terrible. We finished our bread before the cheese was done, so we got more bread. But then we had left over bread, so we took the cheese that this huge group of people left on their table. Normally, I don't steal stranger's cheese, but that 'ish was expensive and I try not to waste perfectly good food. Trust me, I've taken food out of the trashcan before.

Anyway, I remember that being a super fun night. I wish I wasn't being such a jerk and remembered it better. Have I ever told you that I don't have the best memory? Kerry, will you please help me here?

#24 of 30

2010-09-21T21:51:00.007+02:00

First, I will say that this is a picture of a favorite childhood memory. Second, I will tell you that twenty-four is my favorite number. Third, I will post a query. Is there something about me that screams, "Please tell me I'm chubby!" to German women?? Is it the boobs? It has to be because I am conscious enough of my body to know if I am chubby or not and I can say with full certainty that my body does not "look like a sausage squeezed into my jeans."

Anyway. A favorite childhood memory. Unfortunately, the two, ahem, three most prominent memories of my childhood are decidedly negative. First, the time I got a peanut stuck in my nose. I don't think there is a single person left on this planet who hasn't heard about how I got my ever-so-stuck nickname of "Peanut". The short version of the story: I was watching Dumbo, the animated Disney cartoon about an elephant, and he was blowing peanuts out of his nose. Well, turns out it doesn't work as well for humans, but of course I had to try it anyway. Things were going great with all the peanuts and the nostrils and the blowing, until one of those little bastards got stuck. Whose to say if it is my fault for shoving it up there too far or the peanut's fault for being misshapen and abnormally adhesive. Well, short story shorter, I had to go to the doctor to get it removed. The doctor already had a special tool for this, so I'm not that abnormal.

Second, the time Sister dislocated my elbow. Granted, we were two consenting parties participating in the act of body swinging but I like to maintain, to this day, that it was dear Sister who let go. So we were having the most fun, Sister swinging me around in circles by my arms, someone let go with one hand, I twisted over and pop! elbow goes kaputt. I wasn't the kind of kid who cried over spilt milk (I just wrote aggressive notes: see next story) so I think it should've been clear that I was in serious pain. Regardless, my parents (love y'all) made me wait overnight to go to the doctor. When I went to the doctor, who I remember was Australian, my dad promised me that if I didn't cry I could have a Slurpee afterward. You bet your butt I did not cry. Slurpees are kid crack. Anyway, that's the second most prominent childhood memory.

The third, and final, most prominent childhood memory involves these previously mentioned aggressive notes. I could've been described as a seething child. When I would get angry, I would get angry. Slam doors. Break things. Basically a nasty, nasty little person. Some people call this "rage". My parents should've locked me out of the house. Anyway, one time I had about enough of something and wrote "I hate mommy and daddy" on several pieces of paper and taped them up all over the house. I wish my parents had saved those because for the way I was, I deserve to have real shitheads for children. After lots of self-reflection and feeling really bad for the way that I acted I've come to the conclusion that I was a very frustrated child. I always felt more mature than my age and I didn't like not having control over my life. So, yeah, chances are that is precisely the sort of child I will have. I'd like to think I really turned things around come puberty, but may or may not have been prone to a few angry fits in college and since. I think my rage manifested into this concept of "no-filter" and I have since taken a shine to insulting foreigners who happen to be visiting the United States. See: 23rd Birthday when I told the Dutch men that they probably had stupid last names and their country's last significant contribution to the world was the tea trade.

So this whole thing is about a favorite childhood memory. Well, I think that would have to be my playhouse. Too many fun times were had in that playhouse to pick one particular memory. I really worked hard to convince my parents that it was something that I needed and I remember the day I got it. How it smelled, the splinters, hitting my head on the doorway (somethings never change). It even transitioned nicely into teenagerdom. Sisters, you know what I mean. So here is my playhouse, as I remember it. It's been at least four or five years since I've seen it now.

Inside it was actually quite large. It was conveniently placed against the fence, so I could easily climb over the fence, onto my playhouse roof, and then down the little tree that stood in front. It was the best little playhouse. So many pioneer games to play, so little time.

And in other news, I made the kids their FIRST CUPCAKES EVER. WHAT?! I know, how is this even possible? Well, because they're German. Don't worry, we have photo documentation.

EDIT: My sister read this and immediately reminded me of about a million other awesome things that happened when we were little. Let me say, and I'm stealing this from her, but we really got to be children for a long time, and I have to say that this is the number one thing that I want to take from my parents. I'm not talking about overprotecting your kids, because I think the elbow incident makes it clear that my parents are not softies. Rather, I'm just going to do my damnedest to make sure that my kids get to just be kids for as long as they want to be.

#23 of 30

2010-09-20T21:12:00.001+02:00

"Something in front of me"

Here is something I've "drawn" that was sitting in front of me. It is a paper that lists the different noun endings to help determine the gender of a noun in German. "Die" (pronounced "dee" not "dye") is for the feminine case. I think this one is the easiest to identify and that's just because, in my humble opinion, if the noun has a negative connotation, chances are it's feminine. For example, most illnesses are feminine. Die Grippe- the flu, die Appendizitis- appendicitis. However, I did find that cancer (der Krebs) is masculine. Score one for the ladies! I will try not to make a conspiracy out of this, as much as I'd like to. Sometimes, I really want to say that German gender roles are much more defined than in the United States, but that is a generalization that does not work. I've seen more fathers here with their children then I ever recall seeing at home. However, and maybe this is because I just watched last night's Mad Men, which was awesome by the way, I've got gender roles on the brain. My feelings on this issue are complex, as I'm sure most people's are, and not really interesting enough to discuss here. However, if you ever want to talk to me one-on-one on the topic, you know how to reach me.

Last night I had a dream that a vine was growing out of my ear. This is the second time in six months that I've had a dream about pulling a string of something out of my year. (I had a similar dream once before but it was a string of Mardi Gras beads.) As I like to say, anyone who really knows me, knows that I love to talk about dreams. I have no idea what it might "mean" that I keep pulling things out of my ears, except that maybe I have an inner ear problem and should go to the doctor. But just so you know, ear infection (die Mittelohrentzündung) is feminine. Mhmm. Just as I suspected!

#22 of 30

2010-09-19T22:13:00.001+02:00

"A Wizard"

I don't think I have the same fascination with the mystical that many do. I choose the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz because he isn't actually a wizard at all.

Frankly, I think anyone who has any kind of magic powers is scary. There, I said it. The Wicca section or whatever it's called, at BookPeople always used to give me the heebie-jeebies. I hated to straighten that area. I also hated straightening the Music section because dumb ass hipster dudes would be too busy scopin' the honeys to put their Rob Sheffield book or Bob Dylan biography back in the right place. Well, and the business section too, because all the people on the front of the business books always looked so snide. Otherwise, no problem boss.

#21 of 30

2010-09-19T01:19:00.004+02:00

"An Animal that Doesn't Exist"

This is not my realm of expertise. I can imagine a lot of things and make up grand scenarios that run on for pages but imagining an animal is hard for me. Maybe I was supposed to draw the most famous of the imaginary animals, a unicorn. Instead I drew this thing:

I don't know what to call it besides Tina. I imagine when it walks it makes a squishy fart noise. You probably find it in a tropical rain forest or maybe Portland. It probably belongs to the same family as frogs. If you lick it you get super high. Just look at those eyes. That Tina is high as a kite.

In other news I ate veal tonight for the first time in my life. It was not by choice but also not avoidable without being incredibly rude. With each bite I tried to pretend it was something else. I'm probably not going to feel great about it for a while. In related news, people consume a lot of dairy products here. Milk is absurdly cheap. I ought to do a little research and figure out just why! My conspiracy light is blinking and says government subsidies and kick-backs. I don't know why that would be a conspiracy. Butter does taste better here though. I think it's fattier? I don't know. I just eat it. Sing that to the tune of "Beat It". Now.

#20 of 30

2010-09-18T11:03:00.009+02:00

Dang, y'all. I'm sorry. I'll stop trying to make friends and stay home at night so I can draw pictures for my blog.

Here is my imaginary friend. It is a prototype of the qualities that I would enjoy in an imaginary friend because I don't have an actual one to draw from. Sister claims that I would talk to the wall as a child but drawing a picture of the wall would be pretty boring. Honestly though, I don't doubt at all that I talked to walls. I was a strange child.

First, she will be named Tina because I name everything Tina. I will use my old class pet, a plant, as an example. She was named Tina. This can be verified.

Second, we would wear the same size of clothing so we could share. What's that you say? You say that imaginary people don't wear clothes? Well, let me remind you of the Emperor's New Clothes ... oh right, he was naked. Scratch that. Did I tell you that I learned a children's song about, wait for it, the state of being naked. It's called "Nackidei" and according to my youtube search, it's also a popular drinking song. Go figure! Thing #2 said they used to sing it before they'd take a bath. Anyway, I think the fact that this song exists is evidence for Germans being obsessed with being naked. Or maybe it just further proves my obsession with German nakedness.

Please notice all of the rhythm-less clapping, body twitching and attempts to look casual.

Oh. My. Balls. I'll let a German man make me pregnant if we can have little kids that talk and sing like this.

Third, Tina would have a magic bag that if I asked her for something she would have it. It would be kind of like Mary Poppins' bag. I'd be like, "Hey Tina, I want some Creole Creamery." And then she'd be like, "Aight, here you go." It'd be awesome.

Fourth, she would have bird ankles like me so that we could commiserate about how hard it is to walk on cobble stones.

Fifth, she would not ever have to go to the bathroom because I hate waiting for people to go to the bathroom.

Sixth, Tina would have quiet shoes so that she could sneak up on people and scare them for me. I think it is hilarious to scare people.

And that's my imaginary friend, Tina. Nackidei, y'all!

EDIT: Here's my attempt to translate "Nackidei" into English. Chelsea, where's my cookie?

Der Eber sagt zu seiner Frau
hör zu, du süße kleine Sau
wir machen heut ne Schweinerei
und gehn mal wieder nackidei

The boar said to his wife,
Listen here, you sweet, little cow
Today we’re going to be naughty
And go be like naked little kids again.

Refrain:
Nackidei, Nackdei, alle sind heut nackidei
Nackidei, Nackidei, keiner findet was dabei
Nackidei, Nackdei, alle sind heut nackidei
Nackidei, Nackidei, keiner findet was dabei

Naked little kid, naked little kid, today everyone is a naked little kid,
Naked little kid, naked little kid, you won’t find clothes here
Naked little kid, naked little kid, today everyone is a naked little kid,
Naked little kid, naked little kid, you won’t find clothes here.

Dem Schaf wird in der Wolle heiß
und von der Stirn rinnt ihm der Schweiß
doch nach der Schur sagt es jo mei
des ist fontastisch nackidei

The sheep became hot in his wool
And his forehead was dripping with sweat
Then after a shave, this is what he said
This is fantastic, being a naked little kid.

Refrain

Das Küken hält es nicht mehr aus
will endlich aus dem Ei heraus
zerpickt die Schale 1,2,3
plums, da liegt es nackidei

The chick just couldn’t take it anymore
And wanted to finally get out of her egg
She pecked that shell, 1,2,3
Then there she laid, that naked little kid.

Refrain

Dem Karpfen falln die Schuppen ab
er guckt und guckt und lacht sich schlappt
was schwebt da an der Schnur vorbei
ein Wurm und dann noch nackidei

The carp slid back, off the scale
And looked and looked and laughed and flopped
What floated there, going by on that line
Was a worm and just like a naked little kid.

(This little bit was really poorly translated. I should seek the help of a German for this one.)

Refrain

#19 of 30

2010-09-16T21:56:00.005+02:00

Oh hey, I didn't see you there.

For today I am supposed to draw a picture of someone that I idolize. I've actually had to think about this picture for a good amount of time. First, I had to consider whether I'd choose a man or a woman. Obvi, I choose I woman because I am a feminist, duh. Second, I need to think of things that I find admirable in a person.

Things I admire:

-comedic timing
-intelligence
-balancing a career and a family
-ability to make crazy noises and/or faces

Bingo! Amy Poehler. Derrr. I could pick the obvious answer of Tina Fey, and I know you all thought I was going to say that, but I dinit. I said, AMY P-O-E-H-L-E-R, ya know, the lady who got married to and knocked up by Gob, aka Will Arnett.

Here's a video of one of my favorite characters she had on SNL. Well, snoot. NBC won't let me look at their videos because I'm out of the country and they've cleaned all of their videos off of youtube. She has a character named Kaitlin. Kaitlin is a very excitable little girl, with the worst voice, who is always with her (uncle?) Rick. She's hyper active and has the best arm motions. RIIIIIIIICK! Look it up, okay?? Please???

Here's my picture of her:

I am so hilarious tonight.

#18 of 30

2010-09-16T21:35:00.007+02:00

I "totes" messed up last night and got way too crunk to draw a picture of a pet. But, if you're ever in Freiburg and you want to get to' up, may I recommend the 15 euro pitcher of Whiskey Coke from O'Kelly's Irish Pub, emphasis on whiskey, de-emphasis on coke.

Because I already of Midge a picture drawn have, will I a picture of Homer to draw.

(Sorry, the temptation to write a sentence in English with German grammar structure was too strong. I promise to not do it again...in this post.)

Translation: Homer is the very loved and very sassy lil man who used to live in my backyard in New Orleans. You can call him Homer, Homersapien, Homersexual, or Timmy Hotpants-Jindal. It's whatever.

I really need to take an art class and learn how to draw depth. The concept escapes me completely.

#17 of 30

2010-09-15T00:26:00.004+02:00

What I'm wearing today. ... I meant to wear something awesome today, but instead I dressed like I normally do. Obviously, from the drawing, I'm not that into this outfit or this particular drawing. I wore a brown t-shirt from the Gap. A tan, v-neck sweater from, dum dum dum, the Gap. Cuffed blue jeans and some tan socks I stole from my mom, with my black converse hi-tops. Pretty standard.

I wish I wasn't so lazy or I'd parlay this into an entry about the differences between the way German women and American women dress or hell, even easier, the way American men and European men dress, aka completely unkempt vs. vaguely homo. Unkempt most definitely comes from German. It looks like a German word anyway. I just looked it up and found "ungekämmt"... hmm, close, but not as close as I wanted it to be. They would sound the same, more or less.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have something better to say to this. Maybe not. I've said I wanted to start tagging entries as "gay or not gay", by which I mean, I wish I could take pictures of people on the street without getting caught so that we could all decide together whether or not they are homosexual or simply European. They say it's "hard out there for a pimp". Well, I say, "It's hard out there for an American woman to know whose gay and whose Euro." It's pretty much the same idea. Consider me a member of Three 6 Mafia.

#16 of 30

2010-09-13T22:05:00.004+02:00

This personal challenge obviously comes from Summer based on #16 alone: your favorite baseball player.

Now the only time I ever watched baseball was with B and it was pretty much always the Yankees. Shocking, I know. Maybe he'd stop on the Red Sox for a second but only to make a comment about how much Boston sucks. Actually, the only baseball players that I can name are Yankees, except for Nolan Ryan, who I'm pretty sure doesn't play baseball anymore. I think. (insert dumb grin here)

While pretending to be interested in sports, I came to love a man named C.C. Sebathia. I love him because he is a giant man who wears saggy-bottomed pants and looks like he is hardly trying. I think anyone who is good enough to be on the Yankees AND appears to not really even be trying is cool in my book.

I hate this drawing just about as much as I hate my drawing of Stromae, but alas, I'm tired and don't care enough to try again. Oh, look at me being like my boo, C.C..

I'm not even trying, y'all.

#15 of 30

2010-09-12T22:52:00.008+02:00

The theme for this post is "Someone I have a Crush On". So I picked Stromae. Because I am lazy, as previously discussed, here is a cut and paste from his Wikipedia article:

"Paul van Haver, better known as Stromae [stromaj] (born March 12, 1985 in Brussels) is a singer-songwriter of Belgian-Rwandan origin. He has distinguished himself in both hip hop and electronic music. He first became famous with the song "Alors on danse" which remained at number one for several weeks in numerous countries throughout Europe."

Ooohh, he's totally my age and he seems to fit the list of requirements that fulfill "my type" that Zach so kindly outlined for me in college: skinny, weird, and somewhat of a fashion sense. Anyway, he's talented and speaks French. Do you honestly expect me to elaborate beyond this!?

Here's my picture. I kind of hate it.:

Here's what I based it on:

EDIT: Oh man. I had to add this. This will make you want him to be your boyfriend too. Trust me.

#14 of 30

2010-09-12T00:00:00.006+02:00

Hmm. Almost halfway done. A favorite food.

I didn't think about this one for more than five seconds. Obviously the answer is the potato, any shape or form. I just love potatoes.

Today was a strange day. During breakfast we listened to the radio and they had a short segment about September 11th. I've felt sensitive (that's really the only word that I think works) about it all day today, as if someone asked me about it, I might start crying. I spent the day doing escapist sorts of things, i.e., buying clothes. I spent one euro on a copy of Lord of the Rings. I've never read the book, nor had the interest to, but the fact that I was looking through used books and my two English options were that or some John Locke philosophy brouhaha, I obviously went for the Sci-Fi. I'm not a science fiction fan in any sense of the word, but I will pick the genre over philosophy, 9 times out of 10. I hate philosophical discussions more than most things. Something either happens or it doesn't and I'm not interested in wasting an hour of my life debating why I do what I do. I do what I do and I am what I am because that's just what fucking is. You know what I mean?? Not everything has to be argued, defined or defended. I was in a philosophy class for about two weeks in college and had to drop it. I couldn't stand the people in there or the professor. Don't people ever get tired of just spouting bullshit? What is the point of talking in a circle?

I'm curious to see how long it will take me to read LOTR. Maybe it was the Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao that brought me to accept the Science Fiction genre.

Other major events of today were Freiburg actually winning a soccer game, a lady missing her chair when she sat down at Starbucks, and this crazy lady on the train who tried to talk to this stranger about losing her shopping bag...as it was sitting next to her. Cray cray. I got off of the train a stop early, just for the sake of avoiding the crazy. I don't like having to interact with crazy people in English, but crazy people in German are a whole different animal; something much scarier and stressful. That's why I just play deaf. I'm going to say crazy one more time: crazy.

#13 of 30

2010-09-10T23:17:00.006+02:00

"A Favorite Place to Be"

I am really lazy. This means that I prefer to be in a semi-reclined, if not a fully reclined position, as much as possible. I really try to sit up straight in class, like a proper lady should, but I just can't and end up with my legs sticking out into the middle of the classroom. And then I realize what I'm doing and feel stupid. Maybe I should just start off laying on the floor and see how that goes. Anyway that's for another day.

As I was saying, because I like to lay down most of the time, my bed is my favorite place to be, but my bed at home-- not my bed here in Germany. My bed in Germany is very comfortable, but it is very small. Going back to a twin is a spatial adventure. I couldn't even tell you how many times I've underestimated how much room I have and rammed my head into the wall. I've hit my head on a lot of things since being here. I don't really know why but I guess it's been the wall next to my bed, the kitchen cabinets, and on the shower head. Although not the shower head anymore, now that I have a proper shower.

What am I even writing about anymore?

While I'm sort of still talking about beds, let's quickly discuss why married Germans, or at least Germans who are sharing a bed, have separate comforters and mattresses. What? Why even sleep in the same bed if you're separated by a blanket? I can understand sleeping with separate blankets if, say, one of you is a blanket-hog. Anyway. I just think that's weird. If I wanted to share a bed with you chances are I'd like to share the blanket too. Call me crazy. I'm sure there is some sort of very logical German reasoning for it. The pillows are also shaped like squares and so squishy that you might as well sleep without one. There's no logic to explain those piles of poo. And when you make your bed, instead of spreading the comforter over the mattress, you fold it in half and lay it on top. It's, like, totally different y'all.

Here's a video to show you how (German Way):

By the way, I was the 17,678th person to watch this. How is that even possible?

Here's a video to show you how (American Way):

By the way, I was the 83,953th person to watch this. How is that even possible?

I am tired. I'm going to go roll into bed and probably slam my head into the wall. I ought to start wearing a helmet.

#12 of 30

2010-09-10T01:29:00.002+02:00

"A Super Hero"

You know like in Sean of the Dead when he buys his mom flowers? "POW! Super Mom!" I think moms can be super heroes. They certainly have to have a high tolerance for bullshit and make hard decisions constantly. I mean, come on, you have to be pretty unselfish to share your body with someone for nine months. You literally poop for your baby. AND THEN, when you finally do all the work to push that little person out, you still have to wipe their ass...for like, two years. That's love. That's heroic. That's why moms are my Super Hero. Poop!

#11 of 30

2010-09-08T21:59:00.009+02:00

Here is my family. I hope you've noticed the stream of pee coming out of Brutus' ding-a-ling. He knew I was drawing him. He can't help himself.

I'm the scary omniscient presence in their lives, as represented by my giant eye/head in the background. Think of me like the old optometrist ad in the Great Gatsby. I stop fires thousands of miles away with Skype and invade their email boxes with trash email about shoes. And of course I pass judgment on their choice to hold lavish parties and have affairs with the mechanic's wife.

I think when my sisters and I get married someday, we should make our husbands change their last names. Unless I do marry a German man and luck out finding one with an awesome last name like Stockenblocken or von Hermannsdorfer. Then maybe I'll take his name. But remember, I'm not here to get married. I'm here to eat chocolate.

I Love the Plumber's Overalls

2010-09-08T16:42:00.007+02:00

Today the plumber came to the house "so that I can have a proper shower". I still don't really understand what anyone means when they say that to me or what it is I have been doing the last month and a half, if it isn't taking a proper shower.

I love the plumber overalls though.

They kind of look like that. Both of the men speak with really thick dialects though, so I'm 85% sure that I know what's going on. Something with a broken pipe and a need to re-caulk. I hope it all gets fixed quickly. The family comes back from vacation tomorrow and I wouldn't want my stench ruining their homecoming.

EDIT: I just had the best conversation with Plumber #2. He asked me if people really shoot each other when they're crossing the street in Texas. I wish I had deadpanned a "yes" but instead I told the truth and said, "Of course we do." I didn't say that either. Why am I such a liar? I've never thought of Texas as a dangerous place.

EDIT #2: Wow. That new shower is the jam. Turns out you're not supposed to be headbutting the shower head. I could grow like, a foot, and this shower would still be tall enough. Jawesome.

#10 of 30

2010-09-07T21:35:00.004+02:00

Now while I might have a very short list of favorite animals, I have a very long list of things that make me feel afraid. This drawing is difficult for me in that I don't know which one to choose because there are too many to choose from.

the Web of Fear
1. Public speaking and/or embarrassing myself in front of a large group of people (or really anyone). Don't ask me how working in the RSD ever worked.
2. Falling off something. It's not exactly a fear of heights but more so that something inside of me will snap and I'll jump over the edge.
3. Going on dates in general, but more specifically, that "Be All, End All Date" when someone is crazy enough to tell me they want to be my husband. Whoever he may be, he better know me better than do it any place public. Or I will say no.
4. Dying in a plane crash. That's kind of self-explanatory.

One other huge fear that I didn't feel great drawing is being raped. I think that this is a fear that most women probably share. It's a sickening feeling to know that I am the weaker sex. I don't exactly walk around looking in the faces of all the men I pass on the street and wonder if he's going to rape me, but it does cross my mind when I am alone with a guy, even someone I trust. I don't know who or what buried this fear so deep within me because I have never been a victim of any sexual or physical abuse. Anyway. That just got kind of real.

So-o... here's a Lily Allen song that's called "the Fear" but I like it because she says "fuckloads of diamonds". That's funny, although she doesn't say it in this version. Apparently I'm on a Lily Allen kick.

#9 of 30

2010-09-06T20:10:00.003+02:00

I always dread, and by dread I mean don't like, this question: "What is your favorite animal?"

I don't like this question because I don't have one. I really really don't. I like animals but I don't like picking favorites. Usually I cop out, like with the best friend picture, and pick Midge. However, I wouldn't say overall that I really like cats. I just like Midge. I like the animals that I know and those that I deem cute enough to know. But I would never call myself an animal lover. So. If I had to choose, I choose... ugh. I really can't choose.

I choose a bird because I have bird ankles.

That lil bird is about to eat a bunch of raw sausage. Someone should tell him what a bad idea that is.

#8 of 30

2010-09-06T19:56:00.003+02:00

I'm a little bit late with this one. I went to meet up with Sarah (FROM JUNIOR HIGH, AH) in Heidelberg. She's a super-genius and has a week long course about, I think, "the Re -Ionization of the Universe". So, ya know, just the same ol' shiz. It was really good to see her and catch up.

#8: Everything in your bag. I had to label my diagram. Here's the picture:

Here's what they is:

A) German course binder
B) iTouch
C) my very technologically accurate drawing of my Blackberry
D) Aspirin
E) Excedrin
F) Advil PM
G) Ibuprofen
H) The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao Love this book so much.
I) Tempo pocket tissues
J) chapstick
K) Extra peppermint gumz
L) Two pens, one blue and one black; A very fancy mechanical pencil
M) Passport
N) the Invisible Man Thought it was an interesting choice of book to read as a foreigner.
O) a package of Ricola throat drops
P) a container of mixed nuts, salted and toasted (derrr!)
Q) my wallet

#7 of 30

2010-09-04T22:21:00.006+02:00

"A Favorite Song"

"I Dig a Pony" the Beatles

I don't think I've ever picked a favorite Beatle. I'd probably pick John though.

Person 1 "Whose your favorite Beatle?"
Person 2 "I think I like George the best. He was always sort of handsome."
Person 1 "Oh, good choice. I think I like Ringo."
Person 2 "Ew, really? Why? Don't you remember all that crap he put out in the eighties?"
Person 1 "I just think he's so funny."

Unfortunately, I don't have much of anything to write about. I went to the river with my Canadian friend. She indulged me in "celebrating" Labor Day. We sat and drank beer and ate sandwiches. Got stared at by some dudes who felt compelled to take off their shirts while their pit bull pissed on the tree three feet away from us. I refused to look in their direction, but Chels let me know that they stared the whole time they sat there. The dog still had its balls. When they finally realized we weren't going to have any of it, they left. Nubs.

#6 of 30

2010-09-03T21:07:00.004+02:00

Something from a TV show...

I wait so patiently every week.

#5 of 30

2010-09-03T02:15:00.005+02:00

A Favorite Scene from a Movie..

This is from "Goodbye, Lenin!". I think about it every time I try to put the wrong lid on the wrong jar. In this scene Alex is trying to refill eastern German containers with western German products in order to uphold the illusion to his mother that communism still exists... If you haven't seen this movie, go ahead and do it now.

Thinking I ought to start writing entries under the category "Gay or European?".

#4 of 30

2010-09-01T18:48:00.003+02:00

My favorite literary character...

...I'm not so creative.

Today I thought a lot about personal space and how important it is to me. This lady kept getting all UP in this piece on the train today. My ear still feels dirty from when she talked into it.

#3 of 30

2010-08-31T15:49:00.002+02:00

#3: A dream you had.

This dream was about a sketch I was trying to pitch to Tina Fey about a worm named Stanley. I made a little set of a university building. Stanley walked with a ski pole, which for some reason, made him more humorous. I have no idea whether or not Tina went for the sketch, but I'm going to guess she would've said no...

#2 of 30

2010-08-31T00:01:00.003+02:00

A Best Friend, or, A cop out...

My cat Midge (AKA Cray-Cray Baby Fang) isn't really my best friend but I already said that I can't draw people and I don't want to pick one person.

#1 of 30

2010-08-29T22:13:00.004+02:00

Today's been prolific for the lil bloggy blog. Blame it on the rain, just like Milli Vanilli would.

I read Summer's tumblr (I still don't really understand what that is) about a thirty day challenge to draw something every day. I think I can draw okay, but I really suck with people. So I made four attempts and have settled on my original attempt. To me this is something to occupy time. Isn't that kind of why we do anything?

A Quick Over / Under ..

2010-08-29T20:19:00.003+02:00

.. of other "really old" 24 year old women. Over under means I'm including the years 1985, 1986, and 1987. Apparently "we" twenty-four year olds are in some powerful positions these days...

Lily Allen- May 2, 1985
Lady Gaga- March 28, 1986
Lindsey Lohan- July 2, 1986
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen- June 13, 1986
Amanda Bynes- April 3, 1986
Megan Fox- May 16, 1986
Ellen Page- February 21, 1987

Twenty-four and still kickin

2010-08-29T10:50:00.004+02:00

I was called "so old" by a nineteen year old in class on Friday. I was a little taken a back because, one, twenty four is not old, and two, I've already thought that the younger people in my class made me feel old. It was kind of like when you wear something that you know doesn't look great on you, so you're feeling not so confident, but you go for it anyway. Then, when you're doing whatever you were going to do later, someone makes a comment about the outfit not looking so great. Kind of like that...

It also reminded me of the first time I was called fat when I was eight years old in gymnastics class. I've been called "chubby", which I will categorize with fat, one time since then, and that stuff sticks with you. Let's not even dwell on the horrific-ness that is being called fat at eight years old by another eight year old while you're all standing around in leotards. But this is precisely why this sticks with me. It was horrific for me. I was eight. I didn't have the self-coping skills, or words for that matter, to tell myself that that girl was just a little bitch with a bad attitude, trying to say whatever she thought might be hurtful. It worked!

Maybe I've just been reading too much Jezebel.com lately, but coming into a new place and trying to define yourself based on who is around you sucks. I've been here a month and already my concept of what "looks good" is changing. I've considered buying clothes that would be completely normal to wear here, that if I wore at home, well, you'd all make fun of me. And there's another example of being defined by who is around you. This is the epitome of a "first world problem" here, but I am writing about because it's very relevant to my life right now. What I enjoy, though, is being able to tell who is from where based on what they're wearing or their haircut. French girls are painfully beautiful with their perfectly styled outfits and inexplicably cool hair cuts. The sort of girls that make you jealous and wish you had either a bigger budget to spend on clothes or that magic ability to pick exactly the right pieces. Just to describe one example...

I think I might confuse people because I don't exactly look like what an American is "supposed to look like". I suppose I could be considered "German looking", which is confusing because, why would I be in a school to learn German. I like to imagine that I'm some sort of great enigma, but I've got a strong feeling that I'm not. Either way, I guess the question I should be asking myself is, "Why does this even matter to me?" Well, it matters because it just does. When you already don't fit in because you're not from HERE, you want to fit in however you can. Sometimes selling yourself as the sassy Texan isn't always the best pitch. Turns out people don't think Texas is so great when you're not in Texas. Who'd have thought??

I'll have some more coffee and listen to Lily Allen, someone who is my contemporary and manages to sing many a song about many a thing that I've felt. She's pregnant right now I think. So, let's end this one with a "Thank God I'm not her 'cuz she's probably about to get really fat." I just snickered like a pig. Seriously though, Mazel tov, Lily Allen!

Money Don't Matter 2 Night

2010-08-27T18:19:00.003+02:00

What I've been thinking about a lot this past week has nothing to do with Germany at all. It has to do with Prince and one of the reasons why I think he is so great.

Prince was using numbers instead of words (I think) way before all the young people were texting with their cell phones and instant messaging. Although I don't actually know if people even still use Instant Messenger anymore.

Examples include "Money Don't Matter 2 Night", "I Would Die 4 U", and "Nothing Compares 2 U". Now I don't read enough Pitchfork to claim to be any kind of expert on this topic, nor did I do any sort of extensive googling.

Anyway, in all reality, money does matter 2 night, and I will be drinking 80 cent beers. If you do the math, I could drink 2 liters of beer for 3.52 Euro. That's four .5 liter bottles at 80 cents a piece, including the bottle deposits (which I could get back for a total of 32 cents) bringing the actual total to 3.20.

And on the topic of anxiety

2010-08-25T17:36:00.002+02:00

A quick cheat sheet of things to suggest for me to do if you want to make me so nervous that I have diarrhea.

1) Ride bikes
2) Talk in front of a group of teenagers
3) Attend a day time party with people I don't know
4) Attend a night time party with people I don't know
5) Participate in competitive sports
6) Attend a wedding
7) Walk through and eat at the food court in a mall
8) Jump off something tall
9) Get a tattoo

A word that we've borrowed from German: Angst

2010-08-25T17:17:00.005+02:00

Anxiety, a feeling that I know really well. Let me tell you why I have it today. Today, I feel anxiety, or have angst, for hanging out with young European people.

First, my tolerance for hang overs runs at about a 2, on a scale from 1 to 20. I will be the first to admit that I am a huge baby. I want to lie on the couch and eat naked noodles and drink water and feel sorry for myself. Unfortunately, I know that this will not be an option tomorrow because I have language classes, which I will attend religiously, because for the first time in my life I am having to pay for my education. It's so true when they say that you don't really value something until it's your money. At least in my case. I appreciated things very much, but I did not feel an overwhelming sense of, "I paid for this and I'm going to use it damnit."

Second, I'm so self-obsessed that I'm convinced that 85% of the time people are probably talking about me. Or maybe that's called paranoid. Either way, the fact that they all speak Spanish or Italian (which who are we kidding, that's just the same language, amirite??), and really freakin' fast, they could be sitting there in their white pants saying things about "that American girl" while I politely down my drink so as to develop any sort of desire to actually dance. I don't actually think that this will happen, but in the worst of the worst situation, which is always the scenario I run through my head, it is. Although, I must add that everyone I've met has been incredibly friendly and open.

Third, now I'm mostly just trying to think of reasons why this is scary. I guess it really isn't unless you consider that most of the people who will be in said discotheque look like they belong on the Jersey Shore. I don't know why people who look like that make me nervous, but they do. I don't always have the best control over what comes out of my mouth and sometimes I think I'm afraid that I'll say something crazy and then who knows what'll happen. I've seen what can happen on MTV. MTV is a good indicator of reality, right?

Anyway, one of the girls from Italy and one of the girls from Spain were talking about an argument that had apparently happened in class one day about who had better ham. I personally have no opinion on this specific issue but I like the idea of passionately defending a pork product.

Aren't things like this supposed to be fun? Why is my reaction to fun things the exact opposite of what it is supposed to be? Sometimes I feel a lot like Liz Lemon. I think that's the whole point of the character, but I'm not really into ham.

"Barf", or "Nine +1 Reason Why I Hate the Public Swimming Pool"

2010-08-21T22:20:00.005+02:00

I will transcribe this directly as I have scribbled it into my notebook today at the public outdoor swimming pool.

"Let me now list why I hate going to the public swimming pool:

1) No matter how hard you try not to, you will see old lady tits. Super that you feel comfortable but you're making me a) not want to grow old EVER and b) ill.

2) Naked children everywhere. It has been so deeply ingrained into my American psyche to not trust grown adult men around naked children. For being such a rule-based culture, the acceptance of nudity in general here is shocking to me.

3) The fact that I don't feel at all like parading around in my bathing suit is really unfathomable to my family. People sit around and judge you. And yes, I do give a shit about what they think. And yes, I am judging them too.

4) I have to see really disgusting people in their bathing suits.

5) Men of all sizes (and body hair counts) buy the same sized bathing suit. The rumor of German men being well endowed seems to be mostly true.

6) The men you might like to see in a tiny bathing suit do not actually wear the tiny bathing suits.

7) There are couples everywhere that find it very important to display the fact that they are a couple. Super. Great. Yeah, I am bitter.

8) People like to play sports such as soccer- three feet away from your head.

9) Wide open changing rooms. Enough said.

+1: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE MAN NEXT TO ME IS WEARING A PURPLE THONG. !"

And this is why I hate the public swimming pool.

AH! Hey you guuuuys!

2010-08-12T23:33:00.004+02:00

I don't know how I haven't written about this yet. The little boy I am an au pair for reminds me so much of Mikey from the Goonies. He even kind of looks like him and the fact that his front two teeth still haven't grown in yet really helps with the lisping. It brings a huge amount of joy into my day. Here's the trailer if you're not familiar: Here!

And here's somehow a clip that I managed to find dubbed in German: Here!

Mikey's voice did not translate. They should've had my guy do it. Ah! It melts my icy cold heart whenever he gets so excited that he can hardly talk. Tonight was great because we were watching this kids' game show on which they were having a race down water slides. I don't know why it's a water sports focused show, but he was so excited that we had to find out where this water park was so that we can try to go visit. We're talking about hop around the room, "THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! I HAVE TO LOOK AWAY!!! OH MEIN GOTT!! " excited. I want to get excited about something like that too.

I don't know...

2010-08-12T22:31:00.006+02:00

...who spread this rumor to all of the adults that I have encountered since boarding a plane to Germany, but I am in fact, not here to be an au pair in order to find a German husband. Just needed to get that off my chest, y'all.

Look what this has to say about German men. In defense of the German men I know, they are all very nice and smell quite clean.

So far...

2010-08-06T22:06:00.001+02:00

I've taught the children to say, "Goodnight, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite" in English. What else is there to teach?

Addendum

2010-08-06T10:31:00.004+02:00

I forgot to share this story. Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I can get pretty strong feelings of anxiety when in crowded public places. Great example: the food court at the mall makes me feel crazy. Anyway, before I go out I have to give myself a little bit of a pep talk and going out here in Germany is even more stressful to me because 1) everything is in a foreign language and 2) old people love to yell at young people here. As a general rule, my worst fears are confirmed. I probably will this to be. Here's my example.

I was waiting for the train to go back home and I'm standing on the sidewalk, praying that no one talks to me. I see this older woman sitting on her walker, kind of yelling out random things. She looked a little bit like a crazy cat lady, so I mentally note, "Avoid this woman". She continues to yell out stuff, but I have no idea what she's saying, until I realize that she is yelling at me! She's saying over and over, "Sie ist taub! Sie ist taub!" which means, "She is deaf! She is deaf!" Apparently she had been asking me to help her onto to the train, which I obviously didn't understand until the deaf part, and quickly got on the train as far away from her as possible. I felt really guilty for not helping her, which I would have done, if I had had any idea what she was saying. I prayed the whole way home that we wouldn't be getting off in the same place, where she would've most certainly picked up with the yelling at me again. Thankfully, she didn't.

Ruby Red Slippers

2010-08-06T10:16:00.004+02:00

Lookit! I went into the city today and bought some house shoes. House shoes are big here. You can't let your besocked feet touch cold floors, lest you develop a cold. Many things spontaneously seem to cause colds here, such as open windows and the wind.

There's actually a room at the front of the house where you keep your shoes, so as to not track anything inside. This absolutely makes sense but it is taking some getting used to.

I decided to buy red shoes because they're fancier, and why not make life fancier? When I tried to explain to the kids that this was like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I got completely blank stares. Obviously, I had to find the German Wikipedia article and a video to show them. If I can find this dubbed in German or with German subtitles, I am absolutely going to make them watch it. I always thought that this movie was so important and timeless that surely it would've made it beyond American audiences. I guess not!

Wavin' Flag

2010-08-05T17:01:00.004+02:00

If you watched ANY of the World Cup games you heard the song "Wavin' Flag", which the kids have been singing all afternoon. Therefore, I decided to play it on youtube for them while they play some card game that involves motorcycles. I have no idea what it is but it's probably better that they not try to teach me. My sportsmanship is really poor in the realm of card games. Anyway, listening to them try to sing along with this song makes me smile from ear to ear. It's nice that I can play pretty much anything in English, regardless of language, because they have no idea when they hear a "bad" word in English. Case in point, we were listening to the radio yesterday and Eminem's new song came on completely unedited. I was the only person in the car who was shocked to hear "fuck" on the radio.

My au pair mother took me to a market in a neighborhood called Wiehre last night. I had never been there before, which is a real shame because it's actually quite close to where I was living before. Wiehre is a really beautiful neighborhood, probably the prettiest I've seen in this city. It has a really nice farmers market that was more like a French market than a German one. I had an apple and a cracker and watched a very tiny child slide down a VERY tall slide without any fear. Something that's different here, at least it seems to me, is that I've seen many more young fathers out alone with their kids. I say this because I don't think any reasonable mother would have let her tiny child go down that slide alone. Every time she teetered up to the edge I held my breath.

This is all I have for right now. On wait... now they're singing "Poker Face". She has no idea what she's saying. Yikes. Bis spaeter!

Oh look!

2010-08-02T11:15:00.001+02:00

I brought everything that I needed to Freiburg.

Two Days to Go

2010-07-29T18:41:00.002+02:00

With two days left in the United States, you'd think I'd do something better with my time than watch a local news interview with Zac Efron. Not sure how I feel about spelling Zac without a "k" or "h" at the end. What's this guy's deal? I guess being super hot allows you to take short-cuts in life.

Seeing all of the commercials on TV for back to school supplies is making me feel somewhat surprisingly upset that I won't be teaching this upcoming year. There was recently a series of articles in the New York Times written as follow up to this. I found the original article upsetting because it implies that those who attend Ivy League schools make better teachers. Disregarding my inferiority complex relating to the fact that I couldn't ever get into an Ivy League but would totally go if I could, I disagree that these people are inherently better equipped for the job. The article fails to address what it is that makes someone an attractive candidate to teach in a high-needs school. What that is, is certainly not a diploma that says Harvard, because a room full of kids in New Orleans is not going to give a flying you know what.

Anyway, all of the follow-up articles to this discussion about how TfA teachers aren't helping because they all leave after two years to move on to greener pastures before they truly hit their teaching stride. Yeah, of course they do, because they're put in the worst classrooms, in the worst schools, doing the job that no one else wants to do. And if they have that Harvard degree plus two years in the trenches, they're going to get into a better school or a better job. I don't think it's great to use kids' educations as a way to give yourself a step up, but I get it. Becoming an au pair isn't exactly a step up, maybe more of a side step, but I do feel guilty for not sticking it out longer. I genuinely enjoy teaching and my students, however, I do not enjoy being constantly criticized, micromanaged, and asked to fill out surveys about my feelings. Maybe I should find a way to be my own boss.

My last days in New Orleans were highly enjoyable but sad. I'm not sure which list is longer, the list of things I will miss or the list of things I won't miss. What I really ought to do is pick a place and stay there, and then I can stop making miss-lists and saying goodbyes.

My plan for the next two days is to eat as many tortillas as possible. Adios and ole!

Listen

2010-06-17T08:50:00.000+02:00

Don't ask me to explain why I'd be awake at 2 AM watching Eurovision contest entries.

If you aren't familiar, Eurovision Contest : here

Got it?

Naturally, I'm mostly interested because Germany actually won this year and that's important I suppose. So here's that song. It's catchy and if you can get past the accent you might not change the radio station if it came on. Anyway. Of course I've got to check out the competition. I could have probably done a little bit more reading about this, but here's my question: what determines the angle people go for?

If you click around a little bit, you'd see that each country did something really different. Belgium and France had songs that could legitimately be played on international radio, but something like this.... What the hell is this? Did they go for the 1994 angle? If I was a country and was going to make an entry, I'd definitely go for this angle.

Fifty Four Days

2010-06-08T06:33:00.000+02:00

Hello again.

It has been nearly two (three?) years since the end of the German Gournal, which brings me to the question, is it better to burn out or fade away? I faded away. I tried to parlay the "abroad blog" into the "New Orleans blog" and while New Orleans in many ways is its own land, it just didn't work. Writing about how much your job makes you want to die gets old. Writing about eating strange foods and offending foreigners is much more entertaining. But I will say this, I ended the year on my feet, without having strangled a child AND I positively affected student achievement. Cheers to that!

So I'll start writing again. I fly out of Austin on July 31st and the impending arrival of the date kind of makes my stomach turn. Not because of where I'm going or what I'll be doing, but because of what I'm leaving behind. I guess you cannot not do things because of what you'll miss. I have more discoveries to make. I'm not saying I'm Christopher Columbus and plan on going to Germany to murder a bunch of people with small pox infested blankets and then take their land. However, what I AM saying is, how much longer would it have taken "us" to find America without that guy? I need to go discover my new territories and whatnot. Good thing I picked a place I've been to before. Don't ever think I've claimed to be rational. My greatest fear about living in Germany to-date is that I'll have to walk on icy sidewalks. You know who you are for putting this fear in my bird ankles.

I'll tell you a secret (and please don't apply this logic to anyone or anything beyond this specific example). I don't really miss Tex-Mex food anymore. Ay-y-y! It's true. I don't. I guess it's like breaking a dirty habit, but I don't. In fact, eating queso is kind of disgusting to me now, which is saying a lot considering some of the crap I'll eat here in New Orleans. I'm pretty sure I've eaten pigs tail anyway. I know, I KNOW. "It is what it is." Cite this as an example of New Orleans being its own land and when in Rome... If you're away from something for long enough, the pain of missing it eventually fades to a fond memory. I guess you could say I have fond memories of enjoying queso. Strangely though, I do now enjoy drinking margaritas, which I didn't before, but this I credit to teaching and not Texasnostalgia.

Teaching makes you like anything with booze.

With that important tidbit off of my chest, that will be it for this particular entry. I have no idea what I'd write about in the next fifty four days. I'm nannying for a family here in New Orleans. The girls are highly intelligent and super hilarious. (i.e. two year old locking herself dramatically in the bathroom because "mommy went bye-bye" or five year old looking at me thoughtfully and saying, "I like you because you're crazy.")

Hi Jessie and Tony if you're reading this! I promise I won't write about your kids.

I'm also taking the GRE in about a month, which kind of makes me want to crap my pants. I don't know why. That's just how I feel when I'm excited. I think it's the fact that graduate school applications logically follow. I'm having flashbacks of applying to colleges and I just don't want to be disappointed. The prospect of debt is equally unsettling.

In conclusion, if I write anything in the next fifty-four days, it will probably be about baking. Everyone loves a food blog, right?